My body won’t let me

This is not me you see.

I am not an old man with creaking joints and missing mind.

I can still run and jump,

play hockey and hit home runs, 

do long division in my head and run a retail business.

I know I can. 

But my body won’t let me. 

Now I need help to climb a flight of stairs.

Stress makes me vomit.

My sphincters give up cinching.

I soil my pants. 

I humiliate myself.

I can’t explain it.

I can’t explain anything.

I don’t even know why I’m here.

I wish I could die.

But my body won’t let me.

n Jim Taylor, May 2018