Jim Taylor's Columns - 'Soft Edges' and 'Sharp Edges'

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Published on Wednesday, April 6, 2016

The mind is a many-layered thing

I sit here at my computer, thinking about the words that my fingers will type into the next line of text. At the same time, part of my mind stands outside, watching me as I work, noting the way my shoulders tense when I’m searching for a word. And behind that, still another layer observes how my mind is able to observe itself. And behind that, perhaps, still another layer….
How can it be that we humans can simultaneously get involved, and observe ourselves getting involved?
“We’re doing some tough thinking about this issue,” the late Val Anderson told a meeting of the United Church of Canada’s national executive, some decades ago. “And we’re thinking about how we’re doing that thinking -- that’s good. But are we giving any thought to how we’re thinking about our thinking?”
I wonder if any other creatures could even ask that question, let alone understand it.
Other creatures have ways of communicating with each other, certainly. Whales and dolphins send long distance messages through the ocean; elephants apparently do the same through the ground, at frequencies below human perception. Wolves howl in the night; birds twitter; bees dance. Even trees have ways of warning each other about insect infestations and browsing giraffes.
But does a giraffe ever stand back from browsing on an acacia tree and think about what it’s doing?
Is a laboratory rat aware that it’s making a mental map of a maze?

Therapy and healing
Therapists use precisely that ability to step outside oneself, in what author Paul Smith calls “two-chair work” in his book Integral Christianity.
“In two-chair work,” he writes, “I sit in one chair, and in my imagination put the disturbing person or situation in the other chair. Next I talk to them, saying whatever I was thinking or feeling. Then I literally trade places -- I go and sit in the second chair, and BE the other person or situation. I share back to myself -- the self I imagine still sitting in the first chair.”
Smith relates the process to the first, second, and third person pronouns we use in speech.
First you face the situation objectively, as an “it.” Then you talk to the other, directly, as a “you,” pulling no punches. Finally, you become the other, as a first person “I.”
Except that you’re now a different “I.”
The role switching might happen several times. The key is to train yourself to see things through the other’s eyes and experiences.
It was, I understand, a key step in developing the peace process in Northern Ireland. The historically hostile sides were sent off to write out a position statement for the other side. Did you get that? Not to defend their own position, but for the OTHER side.
To walk in the other’s shoes.
To live in the other’s experience.
It’s a practical application of the age-old instruction to “love your neighbour as yourself,” and  the Golden Rule to “treat the other as you would like to be treated.”
And it’s possible only because our minds are somehow able to step outside our personal preoccupations and observe themselves.
Some of us, anyway.
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Copyright © 2016 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.
        To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca
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YOUR TURN

Lots of letters about last week’s column. They seemed to fall into three groups: about humour, about faith, and about irreverence. 

Sandy Warren for example, wrote, “Your song made me laugh. I wish you'd included more verses! I can't imagine that a loving God wouldn't want us to laugh as well as sing, dance and play!
Tom Watson: “Loved your salty sea song! It reminds me of a couple of things: The Groundhog Hymn that I used a couple of times, and something I said more than once in reference to a particular scripture: ‘You'd wonder who writes this stuff!’ Didn't get in trouble -- perhaps it was too ‘Earl-eye in the morning!’
Likewise, John Finlay: “You tease us with snippets of your rewrite of that shanty, and then what -- leave the rest to our imaginations?”
And Michael Dack: “I hope that you'll share all the lyrics to your Easter shanty.”
Actually, those three lines/verses, with the chorus, are all I wrote. But the original tune has long been in public domain, so you’re free to make up any more verses you want. 

Cliff Boldt asked the question: “What is faith? It's a question I often ask myself while sitting in a pew in church. One of my favourite hymns has been On Christ the Solid Rock I stand. I have always thought of the ‘solid rock’ as a self-concept, a feeling of self-worth -- a moral foundation if you will -- that guided my actions. Is that an accurate way to describe faith?”

John Shaffer asked, “And what is faith without action? Action is where our knees get scabbed when we fall down. Action is where we bump into, sometimes crash into, our illusions and have to face a reality we had not seen before. Action is part of the ongoing dialogue with God, or Jesus, or Buddha…the Tao, The Way, Krishna…whatever you want to call it. Sometimes bruised, battered, hurt, and sometimes happy, jubilant and rejoicing, we get up, go on, walk on in our discourse with that thing, entity, life force beyond our comprehension. Faith, ultimately, is not just quiet and inner, it is expressive and outer, too.”

Dale Perkins: “I can identify closely with what you've written. Maybe the ‘Laughing Jesus’ picture needs to be sent to your offended types. Nevertheless, a lot of people are brittle around some deeply-held beliefs. Actually two books come to mind -- again writings from Robin Meyers, ‘The Underground Church’ and ‘Saving Jesus from the Church’ -- both dynamite! “

Dale Sattizahn: To share freely, to become vulnerable, with your own struggles is a sign of your humanness. I am sure it is still difficult to write about the agony of loss your son. To live is to experience doubt. I don't know if it is possible to live without admitting our doubts. As a matter of faith, many claim that God is dead, which is an expression of doubts. But isn't a dead God a good thing? If God can never die, will there ever be a resurrection? 
“My faith has shifted over the years. Simple platitudes are no longer effective. To dig deeper into the heart and soul of our lives and humanity, with our struggles and doubts, to question faith, to ask questions, to become vulnerable, is a far more authentic faith. I think that faith without doubt is not authentic. Thanks for your own vulnerability.

Pat Grant found that the humour rang true to her experience. “Recently, a famous and notorious politician in a nearby city died. The funeral was ostentatious… I thought about his passing, and am sorry for the grief his family must feel, but I thought ..... If there is a Heaven, and if there is a place saved there for me, and if, as his daughter said at the funeral, he is now Mayor of Heaven, I may have to cancel my reservation. 
“Coming from a fairly reserved family, I have lived with this kind of humour all my life. I even hesitate to call myself 'Christian', because I'm never sure my faith is robust enough to guarantee it. But it is vitally important to me to keep trying to live what I hope is a Christian life.”

Charles Hill found the column’s message timely: “Until last Spring, I had never thought much about death. I am only 78. Then I discovered that my complete loss of short-term memory is because I have had a couple small strokes. My mother died of a massive stroke and it has caused me to face my mortality. You have given me permission to struggle.”

On the other side, though, Laurna Tallman reminded me that irreverence is a two-edged sword: “Jim, how would you feel if someone if someone made ‘jokes’ about your son's death? 
“Irreverence won't hurt God but it will hurt people. Social manners reflect deeper concepts of love and harm in a culture. Irreverence implies a lack of respect, which may be a lack of understanding -- an inability to care or a refusal to care or both. 
“How about the friend you eulogized recently? Ian may have been a man of humour, but would you joke about the grief of his friends? About his death? I took the impression from that piece that you not only cared deeply for him but that you also cared about his friends too much to make fun of them. 
“Shortly before Easter, a man who had struggled very hard to save his schizophrenic son lost that battle. Although the circumstances of the son's death were bizarre and might have seemed in some twisted sense comical, there is nothing funny in such a death. In fact, there is nothing much funny about schizophrenia, either, although my son’s uncontrolled verbal juxtaposition of incongruous ideas also is the stuff of comedy. 
“Neither can I see anything comical in torture or in death by torture, then or now. Even plastic figures on dashboards are a memento of that terrible sacrifice, of all terrible sacrifices. 
“Perhaps your analysis of the ‘faith’ of your Christian friends who took offense at your irreverence is lacking in insight. Maybe they simply know Jesus in some way different from you.”

Valentina Gal echoed Laurna’ concerns: “I agree that irreverence won’t hurt God. However, irreverence can hurt us.”
Valentina described a family situation, where one member’s cynicism and skepticism infected others. 
‘So my message to you and those who say that irreverence doesn’t hurt God is this -- irreverence and humour are like a lit match. In their appropriate place with mature and thoughtful folks, they have their use. In the wrong time or place, they can hurt God’s people much more than the originator ever intended, especially when children or searching folks are involved. This is why I try to keep it in check. I can’t recall any time in the Bible where Jesus’ humour was cynical or where He was irreverent to God. We seem to have lost the notion that some things are simply sacred. Surely, there are enough opportunities in the secular world for irreverence.”
 
Ted Wilson commented about Cliff Boldt’s letter, about the column two weeks ago on children’s play: “Cliff nailed it. Helicopter parents are the problem. Absentee helicopter parents are never comfortable unless they know their children are in structured adult-supervised activities at all times. 
“And Laurna got the time line right. It started a couple of generations ago and has been getting progressively worse. It is not only contributing to the rise in bullying incidents but also the decline in successful marriages. Marriage requires love, commitment, compromise and negotiating skills. We learn love and commitment from our parents, compromising and negotiating skills during unstructured play time with our peers.”

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PSALM PARAPHRASES

In this season of Easter, the chosen Psalm presumably picks up the theme of resurrection. I wasn’t happy with my earlier paraphrases of Psalm 30. I wondered how Jesus might feel emerging from the tomb -- even metaphorically -- on a bright Sunday sunrise. 

 “Blue skies, smiling at me…”
Never thought I’d see blue skies again.
There was nothing but nothing;
For two days? Three days? Eternity?
Does it matter? 
Nothing has no time, no space, no shape, no matter -- 
no colours, just nothing --.
for never and forever.

Now I get a second chance.
My spirit rises to see the rows of redbuds blooming, 
to smell the orange blossoms, 
to feel a warm wind blowing the clouds around,
to taste the sweet and salty tears of love and loss.

Before the nothing, I was driven.
to fulfill my responsibilities,
to complete my tasks,
to do what was required of me. 
Doing got in the way of living.

I have known nothing;
I have been nothing.
Then nothing evaporated like morning mist;
the sun shines bright. 
I dance, I sing, I celebrate the miracle of new life.
I am something; I am someone; I am me!

For paraphrases of most of the psalms used by the Revised Common Lectionary, you can order my book Everyday Psalms from Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.

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YOU SCRATCH MY BACK…
Ralph Milton has a new project, called Sing Hallelujah – the world’s first video hymnal. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at www.singhallelujah.ca
Isabel Gibson's thoughtful and well-written blog, www.traditionaliconoclast.com
Wayne Irwin's "Churchweb Canada," an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://www.churchwebcanada.ca>
Alva Wood's satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town are not particularly religious, but they are fun; write alvawood@gmail.com to get onto her mailing list.
Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” – ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at twatson@sentex.net

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TECHNICAL STUFF

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Author: Jim Taylor

Categories: Soft Edges

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