I was tired and thirsty, so I pulled into our favourite American-owned Canadian fast food chain. I got a coffee. I took my double-double -- two cream, two sugar -- outside to the car. I took the first sip. And choked, spraying the inside of the windshield with streaks of beverage.
It’s not the first time I’ve done that. Indeed, my friend Ralph Milton used to caution me regularly: “Breathe first, Jim, then swallow.”
I should remember his advice more often.
Breathe first…
Babies, I’ve been told, can breathe and swallow at the same time. Adults can’t. Something to do with the development of passages at the back of our throats. It doesn’t matter whether we adults breathe first and then swallow, or get the swallowing done with and then breathe, but we can’t do both at once.
Personally, I prefer to “breathe first.” After all, that’s the first thing all of us did after emerging from a watery womb. We took a breath.
No one -- whether Mother Teresa or Attila the Hun -- achieved anything in life without first taking a breath.
Breathing is the foundational act of life. It’s how we absorb the oxygen we need, for our private internal combustion processes that produce heat and energy.
Or change your mind about swallowing
Those people who rant about gateway drugs should, perhaps, recognize, that breathing is the ultimate gateway to everything. No one gets hooked on smoking, drinking, heroin, fentanyl, pornography, or terrorism without first breathing. Timothy McVeigh, the Unabomber, and Josef Stalin all started their nefarious careers by breathing.
Of course, so did Albert Einstein, Nelson Mandela, and Jesus.
Which raises the obvious question -- why did some people who all started out the same way end up so differently?
Perhaps the answer has to do with the swallowing part.
Breathe first, so that you have time to decide what you’re going to swallow. Or not swallow.
The whole point of a snake-oil seller’s high pressure pitch is to make you swallow his line before you have time to think about it. Before you can recognize the bait on his hook, the lure in his logic, the unexamined premise in his promise. And then, just when you’re about to get skeptical, you get hit with the double whammy -- call now, and we’ll send you two, TWO, two for the price of one!
Even if you don’t want one, two feels like too good a bargain to miss.
So breathe first, then swallow. Or not.
Breathe before chasing the idiot who cut you off in traffic. Breathe before launching that withering retort at your spouse. Breathe before making a rash decision that may have unintended consequences.
Take time to think.
In her book The Healing Garden, author Gwen Nyhus Stewart suggested three things to consider before opening your mouth to speak:
-- Is it true?
-- If it passes that test, is it necessary?
-- And finally, is it kind?
Breathing first gives you time to consider her questions. And if what you were about to say fails any of those tests, it gives you time to swallow your words before uttering them.
Breathe first….
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Copyright © 2016 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.
To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca
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YOUR TURN
In last week’s column -- about being the splash in the lake -- I tried a metaphor about being connected, not only with those persons and things that are close to us, but with the whole universe. Some of you grasped the figure of speech, some didn’t.
Steve Roney disagreed: “Seems to me we ARE different from the lake. It is the difference between material existence and consciousness or spirit. The material universe as material is not conscious, and we, being spiritual beings, are radically different in that sense. In just that sense, we are not the ripples caused by the stone. We are the conscious agent on the bank choosing to throw the stone. The stone has no choice, and the ripples have no choice.”
On the other hand, if we are the thrower on the shore, we are not connected to the ripples, or the lake, or the effects that stone may have on the lake and its contents. We are separated. We don’t care about those concentric ripples reaching out. Which would make us, I suggest, psychopaths.
Robert Caughell mused, “If people are confused now, just wait until we contact or are contacted by a non-Earth civilization and realize that we are not alone in the Universe.”
John Hatchard liked the metaphor: “That was a great splash, Jim. A ripple actually went through here in NZ! Thank you.
“A geologist once explained to me how we are stardust, but he took the story back further than carbon [reference to Joni Mitchell song] by suggesting that we are trillion years old Hydrogen.”
Christine Leigh-Taylor offered a different metaphor: “When I was a summer exchange student in Japan in 1962, I had the opportunity to spend a day and a half in a Zen Buddhist monastery. Three American teenagers were taught sitting and walking Zen by the elderly priest. I will always remember his metaphor about connectedness: it is like a fishing net, because any knot you pick up is tied to every other part of the net. This is an easy visual for me.”
Greta Horton sent along a piece she wrote for her church’s newsletter, which she called “I am stardust.” In it, she talked about feeling connected with the beauty and glory of nature, and then asked, “But what do you say of God then? God is with us and around us. Like the sun powers the Earth, God powers our very being.”
Greta added a quote from Gordon Nodwell, in an article, Genesis meets the Big Bang: “Energy drew us to the stars and to other creatures and other worlds and other people as if pulling us into one great cosmic web. And we found a word for that energy. We call it God. It is within us and it is beyond us. Nothing we can do can be done apart from the grace and power that brings us into being and sustains us.”
Greta concluded, “In life and in death, I am stardust. Thanks be to God, the energy of the Universe!”
Peter Scott wrote, “Your ‘splash’ image makes perfect sense to me. And on the matter of love ‘doggified’, if you haven't read ‘The Art of Racing in the Rain’ by Garth Stein, I highly recommend it. It's a wonderful story told from Enzo the dog's point of view.”
I concur with that recommendation.
Yes, readers are still writing about the dog column several weeks ago. This from Stephanie McClellan: “Last week about the same time you sent your Soft Edges, my dear border collie/english setter mix, Roxie, who has herded me out the door and motivated me to walk out of my wheelchair (we're up to six kilometers a day now), was hit by a car. I was heartbroken thinking I lost her. [However] she did better than anyone could have expected and now, after the first week of kennel rest with 6 more weeks on the horizon, is recovering well. This beautiful dog with a quiet spirit and undying loyalty and devotion has taught me much about courage and forgiveness and love, doggiefied. Thanks. God uses our fur-family to teach us what humanity cannot put into words!”
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PSALM PARAPHRASES
I dedicate this paraphrase of Psalm 79: 1-9 to all victims of mindless violence -- of whom there seem to be far too many these days.
1 They didn't have to do this, God.
The broken glass, the spray paint, the upholstery slashed, the tables turned upside down.
2 They even killed the canary.
Do they call this fun?
3 They dumped the contents of the cabinets on the floor, and flung our precious books against the walls.
There is no way we can clean up this mess.
4 Do they really hate us this much?
What did we do to offend them?
5 If they need someone to vent their anger on, why not dump on those who deserve it?
6 Let them lash out at economic systems that protect big money and penalize jobs;
at competition that grabs from the weak and gives to the strong;
at governments who sell their countries to balance their budgets.
8 How can they hold us accountable for the attitudes of our grandparents?
9 Merciful God, give us the courage to carry on.
For paraphrases of most of the psalms used by the Revised Common Lectionary, you can order my book Everyday Psalms from Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.
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YOU SCRATCH MY BACK…
Ralph Milton has a new project, called Sing Hallelujah -- the world’s first video hymnal. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at www.singhallelujah.ca
Isabel Gibson's thoughtful and well-written blog, www.traditionaliconoclast.com
Wayne Irwin's "Churchweb Canada," an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://www.churchwebcanada.ca>
Alva Wood's satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town are not particularly religious, but they are fun; write alvawood@gmail.com to get onto her mailing list.
Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” – ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at twatson@sentex.net
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TECHNICAL STUFF
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I write a second column each Sunday called Sharp Edges, which tends to be somewhat more cutting about social and justice issues. To sign up for Sharp Edges, write to me directly, jimt@quixotic.ca, or send a note to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca
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