Renowned humorist Garrison Keillor had eye surgery recently. In an article in the Washington Post, he wrote about recovering in his hotel room, unable even to watch television because his vision was so blurry:
“And it occurred to me, not once but several times, that I am a fortunate man and thank you, Lord. For Medicare and a good group health policy and savings to cover any shortfall.”
Others, he realized, would not be as fortunate -- “The 22 million people who will lose their health insurance in the next few years if Congress does as the man wishes will face some high barriers between them and any sort of eye surgery… Eighty per cent of white evangelical Christians who cast ballots last fall voted for the man who seems as far from Christian virtues (humility, kindness, patience, etc.) as Hulk Hogan is from the Dalai Lama.”
From their viewpoint, Keillor mused, “Apparently, Jesus got the story wrong.”
Keillor himself doesn’t think so. (Neither do I.) But he offered examples of what Jesus should have said, according to right-wing ethics:
· The rich man came to Lazarus, who was covered with sores, and asked for a tax break. The rich man was rewarded and Lazarus went to hell.
· Do unto others as you are glad they don’t have the means to do unto you.
The Rant on the Mount?
Keillor’s musings got me thinking about other instances where some people might believe Jesus’ message got distorted by idealistic liberals:
· Blessed are the poor in spirit for they don’t have the guts to fight back.
· Blessed are the meek for they can be pushed around.
· Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they use up less of our profitable resources.
· Blessed are the merciful, for they save governments from wasting money on welfare programs.
· Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will never get their act together.
· Blessed are you, when people revile you and persecute you, for that proves you were right. Rejoice and be glad, and bury them under a blizzard of Tweets.
I wondered what the Great Tweeter might write about some of Jesus’ other teachings:
· “Turn the other cheek.” Ridiculous! Greatest fiasco ever foisted on mankind!
· “Go the second mile.” Shocking! Truly horrible exploitation! Collaboration with the enemy!
· “Love your enemies.” Subversive propaganda! Playing into terrorists’ hands!
· “As you have done it unto the least of these, you have done it onto me.” And I’ll make sure you regret it!
· “Love your neighbour.” Also my neighbour’s wife. One good grope deserves another.
The Jesus version
In case there’s any doubt, I prefer Jesus’ version. Or what the Bible offers as Jesus’ version. At the time, no one took his words down in shorthand; no one recorded them on a cell phone. So distortions may have crept in, both before his words got written down, and later, as they got translated from language to language.
Nevertheless, I take Jesus seriously – and sometimes literally. His wisdom cuts against the grain of the economic culture I live in. So be it. I trust him more than I trust the disciples of Ayn Rand.
Like Garrison Keillor, I believe that Jesus got it right.
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Copyright © 2017 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.
To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca
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YOUR TURN
The responses to last week’s column generally focused on two areas.
Robert Caughell looked at the mistakes made in allocating blame: “Didn't the same thing happen during the Black Plague in Europe? People thought cats were spreading the disease so they killed all the cats. But it was fleas on rats that was the cause of it. Killing the cats let the rats/fleas multiply making things worse.”
So did Isabel Gibson: “Your story of the Four Pests is a cautionary tale about central planning -- in anything. Planning -- central or otherwise -- is not the way nature works. A trait or a strategy emerges within a local situation and if it works, it spreads. Maybe we should go and do likewise.”
Tom Watson focused on the emotional side of guilt and misgivings: “Your temporary guilt over splatting that housefly reminds me of a story Gary Lautens once wrote in the Toronto Star. He and wife, Jackie, were at their cottage. They noticed a mouse running through one day, so set a trap. Whammo! One dead mouse. Then they found a wee nest with five newly born mice offspring. They immediately felt guilty that they had killed the mother mouse, leaving these young 'uns without their natural capacity to survive, so they started feeding them, using eye droppers. Even took them to the veterinarian for shots. They nurtured them until it seemed safe to release them into the wild.
“Mice are a source of food for hawks, owls, cats, some birds, foxes and snakes. In spite of our dislike of rodents it turns out they too, just as with houseflies, have a place in Nature's chain.”
John Shaffer caught me in a factual slip-up: “Okay I am confused. It appears you switched from sparrows to swallows. Which one did they try to eliminate?” [It was sparrows. My error. JT]
“A lot of pests were introduced to North America by humans, not by ‘creation’. What do rats contribute to the common good? Yum yum, if you live in Vietnam. Especially if raised on rice in rural areas.”
Jessie Carlson also commented on human effects: “I have read your column for many years. I enjoy the many different points of view.
“I agree with you entirely that we need to maintain a balance of nature. When we eliminate a species, we often create problems with other species. If we bring into Canada a species that has no natural enemies, it often causes other species to be destroyed.
“This is an emphasis we must learn if we want to be environmentalists.”
And finally, Gwynne Harries wrote, “When I escort our flies from the house, I shall warn them not to visit you.”
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PSALM PARAPHRASES
Psalm 139 is, for me, one of the most memorable and moving psalms.
1 I am transparent to you, God.
You can see right through me.
2 I can hide nothing from you.
You read my body language, and detect my deepest feelings.
3 The tiniest quirks of my handwriting reveal everything that's going on inside me.
4 You know what I'm going to say before I've thought it through.
5 I look out at the world, and you are there;
I look within my psyche, and you are there;
Emotion and intellect are one to you.
6 You know me better than I know myself.
I could not stand knowing myself that well --
I need some hidden corners still to discover,
some mysteries still to unfold.
7 Only you can cope with total knowledge.
7 How can I have a separate life?
8 If I study science, you are there.
If I explore economics, you are there.
9 From charmed quarks to exploding galaxies,
from icebergs to dinosaurs to industrial toxins --
wherever I turn, you will turn up too.
You insinuate yourself into every crevice of my life.
11 Even if I bury myself in my work, you break in,
and upset all my careful applecarts.
10 You drag me forward by my lapels;
in the small of my back, you keep shoving me.
12 I cannot keep you out of my life.
So I might as well let you in.
23 I have nothing to hide from you.
Go ahead -- look into my soul!
24 I have done my best.
If you find a jealous heart or a spiteful tongue,
clean them out!
I would rather do without them than be cut off from you.
For paraphrases of most of the psalms used by the Revised Common Lectionary, you can order my book Everyday Psalms from Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.
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YOU SCRATCH MY BACK…
· Ralph Milton’s most recent project, Sing Hallelujah -- the world’s first video hymnal -- consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at www.singhallelujah.ca
· Isabel Gibson's thoughtful and well-written blog, www.traditionaliconoclast.com
· Wayne Irwin's "Churchweb Canada," an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://www.churchwebcanada.ca>
· Alva Wood's satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town are not particularly religious, but they are fun; write alvawood@gmail.com to get onto her mailing list.
· Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at twatson@sentex.net
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TECHNICAL STUFF
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My webpage is up and running again -- thanks to Wayne Irwin and ChurchWeb Canada. You can now access current columns and about five years of archives at http://quixotic.ca
I write a second column each Sunday called Sharp Edges, which tends to be somewhat more cutting about social and justice issues. To sign up for Sharp Edges, write to me directly, jimt@quixotic.ca, or send a note to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca
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