Sunday April 23, 2023
A note first: I should have sent this column out Saturday or Sunday, but there was some kind of hitch at the newspaper, which has “first publication” rights. (They also pay me – a pittance, but still pay). I waited to see if they were going to publish it. Even if late. Apparently they’re not. So I can send it.
A kid was acting up o the grocery store. He wanted to push the cart. He didn’t want to push the cart. He wanted to ride in the cart. He didn’t want to ride in the cart.
His mother was being very patient with him.
“Two years old?” I asked, sympathetically.
“Almost,” she nodded. “He’s starting early!”
If that had been my child, 60 years ago, I would probably have swatted his bum to make him behave. Or at least been tempted to.
Those days are gone, fortunately. Times have changed
I remember the day I stopped relying on physical punishment as a means of discipline. Our kids would have been six and three, I guess. It was bedtime. But the long northern day was still invitingly bright outside.
I had just finished washing the dishes. I still had a wooden spoon in my hand. I smacked it hard against my leg, to indicate the punishment that awaited them, if they didn’t head for bed right now!
The spoon shattered. Parts of it flew around the room.
The kids ran screaming for their bedrooms.
And I realized the kind of fear that threats of physical punishment can evoke.
The punishment system
Punishment sets up a hugely unequal relationship. The adult dominates by size, strength, and authority. The adult also controls food and clothing, recreation and freedom. The child, even when loved, is subordinate.
The pattern has held for countless generations. My parents spanked me, because their parents spanked them, because their parents spanked them… And so on, and on.
Studies over the last 10 years estimate that between a quarter and half of all Canadian families still spank their children.
The British “public school” system made a fetish out of punishment. . Teachers, even senior students, didn’t hesitate to apply a strap or cane to rebellious subordinates.
I recall visiting a cousin in England. Her son had come home for the weekend from his boarding school. He clung to her, weeping, begging her not to send him back to the school’s institutional bullying.
As far back as 1857, the novel Tom Brown’s School Days laid out the casual brutality of a punishment-based system.
Without in any way excusing the atrocities committed against indigenous children in Canada’s residential schools, I can’t help wondering if some of the perpetrators may have thought they were simply following a time-honoured practice, often described as “turning boys into men.”
Changing patterns
Since then, 65 countries around the world have ruled that spanking – corporal punishment, in more legal terms – is no longer acceptable.
Canada is not one of them.
Indeed, Section 43 of Canada’s Criminal Code specifically approves of corporal punishment: “Every schoolteacher, parent or person standing in the place of a parent is justified in using force by way of correction toward a pupil or child, as the case may be, who is under his care, if the force does not exceed what is reasonable under the circumstances.”
The United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child defines physical punishment as “punishment that uses physical force that is intended to cause pain or discomfort even if it is very mild or light.”
The term “corporal” punishment, by the way, has nothing to do with non-commissioned military officers. It derives from the Latin word corpus, meaning body – the same root we also use for “corpse.”
Spanking is corporal punishment, of course. Also hitting, smacking, slapping, kicking, shaking, scratching, pinching, or biting. Any punishment inflicted on a body.
A bill, S-251, is currently being debated by the Canadian Senate,. It would ban corporal punishment in this country.
Youi might wonder why the Senate would even need to debate the abolition of discipline “intended to cause pain or discomfort.”
Some might argue that children’s brains have not yet developed enough to deal with logic and principle. Youi can’t reason them out of unacceptable behaviour. So you have to apply something they’ll remember. Such as spanking.
Or, perhaps, threats of future consequences.: “Just wait ‘till your father comes home… The bogeyman will get you if you don’t watch out… You’ll go to hell…”
Certainly, an exposition of Emmanuel Kant’s “moral imperative” philosophy will never persuade a child to push a grocery cart more carefully.
But setting a good example might.
The young mom I saw in the grocery store did things right She didn’t lose her temper. She didn’t swat her unruly two-year-old. She didn’t make any threats.
She kept calm. She set a good example.
There ARE alternatives to physical violence.
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Copyright © 2023 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups encouraged; links from other blogs welcomed; all other rights reserved.
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Your turn
In last week’s column, I lamented the closing of Wood Lake Books, and at the same time, celebrated its 40-plus year of providing intelligent materials for church people, both in Canada and around the world. It seems you shared he same feelings.
Here are your comments, with minimal editing.
Peg Arcari: “Though I purchased resources through Wood Lake over 35 years in ministry work, I too failed to order resources once the pandemic hit- funds and children's church were shrinking. Thank you to all who made the incredible curricula available along with so many other wonderful resources. It will certainly leave a gaping hole.”
Tom Watson: “I hadn't realized that Wood Lake Books had closed. It was of great service to the church. Thanks so much to you and Ralph Milton for having the vision, the courage, and the fortitude to start it and keep it going!”
Isabel Gibson: “I didn't know the story of Wood Lake -- thanks for correcting that. Closing isn't a failure. Not trying would have been the failure. Nothing lasts forever.”
Warren Harbeck: “Sorry so to hear of the closure of Wood Lake Press. Jim and Ralph, you’ve certainly left a valuable legacy through its millions of pages.”
Dru Tyler: I met the United Church of Canada in a study group of women clergy in New York City. I began to use the material from Wood Lake -- worship resources, programs for lay people -- adults, children, intergenerational, even the shared clergy discussion/workshops by clergy for clergy. Those publications, those ideas shaped my ministry from then till now (retired into my ninth decade). I used to laugh and say ‘I met Wood Lake when it was being smuggled across the Canadian border into NY!’ I am grateful -- and I am pretty confident that many people I served in three states and five churches are grateful for the wonderful, thoughtful ideas I shared with them.”
Beth (not sure of her last name): “I'm sorry Wood Lake is closing. I have enjoyed every single thing you have sold or emailed to me. Thank you very much for the goodness over the years!!!”
Lorna King helped build the success of Wood Lake: “I gasped an ‘Oh no!’ when I saw a post about the closure of this beloved publishing house. Before I downsized my library when I moved, it was full of books from Wood Lake -- most of them stayed in the library of the congregation I retired from, with a few going to the Designated Lay Ministry program.
“I was part of the Regina Presbytery group that founded the forerunner of ‘The Whole People of God’ curriculum. It was a wonderful idea that flowed out of a group of us writing lesson plans for a Sunday School in Regina. We thought, ‘Wouldn't it be great to have a curriculum that matched up the scripture lessons from the Revised Common Lectionary -- families could talk together over lunch!’ We gathered people from as many congregations as could gather in Regina to brainstorm and share ideas. A writer for each age level took those ideas and crafted lessons. Competing with David C. Cook curriculum -- that didn't match our theology but gave you everything you needed for the lesson -- we printed teaching pictures, activity pages. and counted out sheets of construction paper and pipe cleaners to create an all-in-one package that came with theological reflection and a take-home folder for families.
“We were excited as we prepared for our first brainstorming gathering. The night before I sat down and read the scriptures for the first weeks of September -- and panicked! What on earth could we say to children about these scriptures. But we soared! For three solid years we brainstormed and wrote and proof-read and collated and did ‘paint, paste and pack.’
“Meanwhile Marilyn Perry, who had been the heart and soul of the Regina Presbytery Lectionary Curriculum Project, moved to BC. She shared the story of ‘our little curriculum that could.’ And with joy and enthusiasm, and huge sighs of relief, we handed the curriculum over to Wood Lake Books -- and with partners in the States, that little curriculum soared!”
Kim MacMillan: “I read about the closure of Wood Lake Books with sadness. I have been privileged to work with you and Ralph Milton and the staff on a few occasions. Your column does not exaggerate the importance of WLB in the life of the United Church and other denominations (and no denomination) worldwide. Your people and your products worked hard to be accessible to regular people without being dumbed down in any way. I for one am grateful for the vision that you and Ralph had, or perhaps more accurately, that you were able to discern where the spirit was leading and to get in front. Congratulations to the two of you and your entire team for a job well done.
“This is not a failure any more than an old man is a failure if he dies. Life and death are all one thing.”
Dawne Taylor: “I was quite stunned to receive the email to say Wood Lale was closing and shutting down operations. And so very sad. You, Ralph, and the entire Wood Lake team offered such a valuable ministry to the people of the United Church, and especially to those of us in Kamloops-Okanagan Presbytery who were privileged to have Wood Lakes displays and sales at so many of our gatherings. I relied a great deal on Wood Lake publications and church school curricula during my ministry. And continued to buy from them in retirement.
“A big thank you to both of you and the team for your progressive and forward-looking vision, and for carrying it out to the benefit of so many. Rare indeed is a company with the ethics and mission evidenced by Wood Lake.
“Yes, the times indeed are changing. Guess much of ecclesial literature is now available on-line, and virtual learning seems to be the norm. But to lose a valued United Church resource is a blow to an otherwise struggling denomination. Wood Lake was a great success story and innovative adventure in its 40+ years, and all involved are to be commended. Thank you.”
Mervyn Flecknoe, in Yorkshire: You have flown a flag effectively. Who knows who will pick it up, and how. I don’t know if you are aware of the English, Anglican, program ‘Jesus Shaped People’ qv? Our church (Methodist) and many others in the UK have been trying to follow this for the last ten years. Every year, sometimes twice, we run a six- or seven-week program to remind ourselves about the essence of Christianity, and I often draw on your promptings in writing these. So, your influence does good thousands of miles away. Your writing has not been in vain in Yorkshire.”
Larry Eddy: “As a look at my bookcase, I see many books that originated in your care. To allow passing without comment would be a disservice to the hours and creativity of you and your team.”
Virginia Sauve: “You did indeed have a great experience and produce some great materials. I am sure many are sad to see you go.”
Dorothy Haug: “Thank you so much for the brief history of Woodlake Press.
I enjoyed using the second curriculum for many years. It was so age appropriate, forward thinking, and provided so many ideas for different ways of integrating the scriptures into active storytelling and learning.
“As a United Church resource director I promoted many Wood Lake books over the years and found many to be particularly useful in providing a United Church ethos.
“Thanks to you both you and Ralph Milton for taking the risk of putting those ideas on to paper.”