Thursday August 18, 2022

I got a cat last week. Correction – last week a cat got me. Because no human owns a cat. Cats may have been the first wild creatures to co-habit with humans, but unlike dogs, they have never let humans dominate them. 

            My cat is only eight weeks old, but he already runs my household. Wrong again – HIS household! He determines when I shall wake up. By licking the end of my nose.. 

            He has found his own private cave between my pillows, where he spends the night. Unless he decides to wake up long enough to walk across my head.

            I expected him to play with my computer mouse – cat and mouse, you know. I didn’t expect him to take naps on my keyboard. Now I know how those computer nerds come up with weird passwords like 8[UEVrn#ds-ibJEtb&iSio&hf. They invite a kitten to pounce on their keyboards.

            Fortunately, today’s computer programs are more stable than they used to be. In the early days of personal computers, a previous cat jumped up onto my keyboard and erased 40 pages of laboriously inputted text in a single flash. The screen flickered once and went black. I asked the geek at Radio Shack what combination of keys could erase so many pages, so quickly. He said there was no such combination. It wasn’t possible; it couldn’t have happened. 

            My cat knew better.

Definitions

            This current kitten, by the way, is named Dickie. Because he has a little white dickie under his chin. Anybody remember dickies? I’m betraying my age, again. 

            Just to be sure, I looked up the word. Concise Oxford defines “dicky” or “dickie” as a man’s false shirt front. 

            While I had my dictionary open, I also looked up “innocent.” Because I can trace Dickie’s progress through the house by listening for things hitting the floor. Things like my sunglasses. A cactus plant. A souvenir statuette. Sacrifices made to the great god Gravity, I suppose. 

            And then his big eyes look so innocent as I clean up the vase of flowers.

            “Innocent” has multiple meanings: Not guilty, in the legal sense. Sinless, unacquainted with evil. Guileless, harmless…

            I feel a certain lack of clarity here. 

            Because little Dickie is certainly NOT “not guilty” of knocking over that milk jug. Especially when he’s licking up the evidence against him. But is acting like a furry wrecking ball a sin? Does “sin” require intent to do harm? 

            Or is he “innocent” because he didn’t mean to tip that package of Cheerios onto the floor? 

            Who would have expected an eight-week-old kitten to spur such ponderous reflections?

            We talk about young children being innocent. The most famous use of the term may be the biblical Massacre of the Holy Innocents, when bad King Herod had every male child in Bethlehem under two years old slaughtered, to eliminate the possibility that one of those children might someday usurp his throne.

            Those boys certainly had no harmful intent. Not yet, anyway. But two-year-old boys are hardly harmless. Ask any sleep-deprived mother.

            Dickie stands over the debris of his wanderings, wide-eyed. He’s innocent. And he’s guilty. Both at once. 

            Like small children. And maybe like me. 

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Copyright © 2022 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.

                  To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca

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YOUR TURN

I made an offhand comment last week, introducing to the letters section, that cerebral topics generate fewer letters than more emotional topics. I didn’t intend that comment as a slight – it was simply that abstract subjects generate fewer responses than heart-based ones. 

            This week’s letters confirm that observation. Last week, I levelled about quitting acting like an ordained minister. You folks had lots to say in response. 

Doug Giles: “We all have a different call. The trick is to know what that is. And I'm quite certain you found your call with the writing that you do, gratis! Someone who can handle prayers, hymns, and sermons on a weekly basis is a solid foundation for pastoral ministry. But self-analysis is good! Knowing your limitations even better!! I was terrified the first time I stood in a pulpit and began telling people (who had lived a lot longer than me) my exciting new discoveries about Scripture. They were kind and I managed to hang in there for 25 years (with some interruptions). Those of us who subscribe to your newsletters have benefitted greatly from your choice of career. And when I think about it that might even be one of the definitions for pastoral ministry.” 

            Doug identifies himself as “a retired Lutheran pastor who helps out at a local Anglican church.” 

Jan Bradshaw: “What a perfect lead into one of my favourite Star Trek episodes, with apologies to McCoy: ’Dammit Jim. You’re a writer, not a minister!’”

Isabel Gibson: “I don't think that giving an occasional sermon (or even doing a committal service) is ‘pretending to be a minister.’ I think there are many tasks needed to build a community of faith, and as many gifts needed to support those tasks. I've known clergy who were lousy sermon-givers, but great at pastoral care and pretty good at leading study groups. That mix of gifts tested my patience on a Sunday morning, but it didn't mean they were pretending.

            “And neither were you, in my opinion. We each have a ministry -- maybe in the church and certainly in the world.” 

John Shaffer: “As I read your comments about pastoral care, I think I survived as a pastor because I was very effective (good?) at pastoral care. Without it, I would probably have ‘lost’ even more members than I did with my liberal theology.

            “A woman in my church in Spokane ‘took me on’ after worship, telling me I was doing a lot of damage with my heretical sermon content, but she didn't leave the church. One of the reasons was my pastoral care for her. Eventually she died of cancer and again, because of my pastoral care, it was clear that I would ‘do’ her funeral, which I did.

            “Sadly, that was not true in every situation. My opposition to the Vietnam War was not able to preserve some relationships; pastoral care suffered in such relationships in the early 1970's. A good friend came to my office to share that he and his wife were leaving because she had decided I could not do her son's funeral if he died in Vietnam. Tough day. 

            “If I were still preaching regularly, anyone supporting ‘he who must not be given extra publicity’ would have a tough time listening to my sermons. I even wrote a sermon ‘The Final Straw’ when he held up a Bible, that he had to borrow, in front of an Episcopal Church in Washington D.C. I was pleased that the Episcopal Bishop objected publicly and loudly.”

Randy Hall: “Your thoughts remind me of a benediction (not original) that I often use: ‘Be who you is, ‘cause if you ain’t who you is, you is who you ain’t!’”

Louise Burton and I have preached for each other several times: “Congratulations on your retirement from one little segment of your life -- but too bad for us who enjoyed a random service by you over the years. So, now do you call yourself semi-retired or do you have to retire from a few more projects before you hit the ‘semi’ designation?

            “When one looks at one's calendar and sees waaaay too many things on the go, it is sometimes a difficult choice to pick where to trim. Just like downsizing possessions, interests are often difficult to let go, especially if they have given enjoyment in some way.”

Tom Watson: “Have you considered that your writing is a form of pastoral care?”

Jennifer Detjen is the daughter of some neighbours: “I have told my parents repeatedly, after I have had the pleasure of knowing you in the community and through your writings, that I would readily attend church if you were giving the sermons.

            “I greatly appreciate your views, and how sometimes even something small can be written about in a way that we can connect to, in relation to the big picture we all share called life.

            “To become better people, as should be our goal as we age, we should question our motivations, triggers and things we take for granted. You help us to do so graciously.

            “You have a gift, several actually, and you did not need to be ordained to share them. Thank you for being exactly what you are, (among other things), a wordsmith with large, and humble, world views and experiences. We are fortunate to know you, and to learn from you.”

David Gilchrist: “Seldom do I disagree with you and in this case, the disagreement is only on the use of a word: ‘Minister’. You are in a very real sense, a ‘minister’ -- one who serves. I have come to feel that Ordination is about as valid as a marriage ceremony: both useful when taken seriously; but both are sometimes used to feel ‘entitlement’ to control others.”

Florence Driedger: “My husband and I have declined to be ordained on several occasions. The first was way back in 1954. Yes we pastored, but ordination in those years tended to put the pastor on a pedestal, and that was the last thing we wanted to have happen. We have been licensed ever since, but never ordained. We are equals among equals and will remain so.”

Clare Neufeld: “I agree with ‘sticking to your guns’ on a significant decision. As to ‘lousy’, I’m not sure lacking in [certain] skills makes for a lousy ‘pastor’. I see you as a minister, within the scope of your praxis -- you can’t help yourself, in that regard! 

            “Some of my former colleagues were atrocious administrators, yet they were also, in my view, some of the most humble, patient, insightful, compassionate, caring, sincere shepherds, whose ‘time’ was dedicated wholly to the persons, tasks before them. Record-keeping, appointment times, finances, ‘finer’ theological discourses, even schedules lost out in favour of caring, healing, patience, love, for/about the people within their immediate sphere of influence.”

Laurna Tallman wrote a long letter, much of it personal: “Thank you for setting the record straight. You certainly gave me the impression that your work in the United Church of Canada stemmed from ordination as a minister. Had you been, you would not have been alone in failing the pastoral care aspect of the job. On the other hand, a person who excels at pastoral care surely invests all of the other duties with the special intelligence, knowledge, experience, and awareness that is supposed to permeate what happens in the pulpit and in the planning and leading of services, as well as reaching out into the homes and meeting places in the community.”

            After telling me her own story, Laurna concluded, “I pray that you will recognize the ways in which you found your calling. Certainly, the edifying writing that forces others to think more clearly and to ponder issues more carefully is part of that calling. Most of your rephrasing of the psalms are very helpful and beautifully done. Supporting the ministries of pastors may have been another calling and not the fraudulent performance you infer. If you slid into some foolish pride about how well you did that, you have confessed your fault. You are forgiven.”

Wayne Irwin offered a bit of advice, on making decisions: “Your piece reminds me that forgiveness is a decision also. Whenever I have decided to forgive someone, I move a painting on a wall, or move a piece of furniture, to help me remember, going forward, that I have made that decision, and life is moving forward in a new way.”

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Psalm paraphrase

The lectionary offers two psalm choices, this liturgical season: Psalm 71:1-6 and Psalm 103. As I looked up my paraphrases, I discovered that I have never sent out any paraphrase of Psalm 103. So that’s what you’re getting this week.

1          My heart races; blood rushes to my face.

2          I feel myself glowing for the goodness of God. 

3          For God accepts me in spite of my shortcomings;
God strengthens me to rise above my failures.

4          God plucks me out of the pit of despair and self-pity,
and lets me enjoy the summer sun.

5          God finds me friends to stimulate my mind;
how can I vegetate when they keep me vibrant?

6          If you're weary and heavy-laden, God will give you rest; 
if you're under someone's thumb, God will set you free. 

7          Don't be skeptical -- look at God's history; 
Time after time, God has rescued us from crisis.

8          God's love is gentle and kind; 
it rarely resorts to anger; 
like a mighty river, it runs deep and dependable.

You can find paraphrases of most of the psalms in the Revised Common Lectionary in my book Everyday Psalmsavailable from Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.

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TECHNICAL STUFF

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PROMOTION STUFF

To use the links in this section, you’ll have to insert the necessary symbols. Some spam filters have blocked my posts because they’re suspicious of some of the web links.

                  Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,” an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. http://wwwDOTchurchwebcanadaDOTca He’s also relatively inexpensive!

                  I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, wwwDOTtraditionaliconoclastDOTcom. She also has lots of beautiful photos. Especially of birds.

                  Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at tomwatsoATgmailDOTcom (NB that’s “watso” not “watson”)

ALVA WOOD’S ARCHIVE

                  I have acquired (don’t ask how) the complete archive of the late Alva Wood’s collection of satiric and sometimes wildly funny columns about a mythical village’s misadventures. I’ve put them on my website: http://quixotic.ca/Alva-Wood-Archive. You’re welcome to browse. No charge. (Although maybe if I charged a fee, more people would find the archive worth visiting.)