Sunday May 22, 2022
This May, Americans are all riled up about abortion. A leaked draft of a forthcoming judgement, written by the conservative judges on the U.S. Supreme Court, suggests that the Court is likely to overturn the 1973 Roe vs Wadedecision that has, for almost 50 years, allowed American women to have safe and legal abortions.
In Canada, May is Cystic Fibrosis Month. Cystic Fibrosis is a much less divisive issue than abortion. But the two are linked together for me. You’ll see why.
Our son was born with Cystic Fibrosis, CF. It’s a hereditary illness. Both my wife and I had to be carriers of a recessive gene. Our two genes combined to give our son CF. He had nothing to do with it – he was the innocent victim.
In those days, the life expectancy for CF children was about six years. Our son had already passed that milestone when he was first diagnosed. The CF Clinic at Toronto’s Hospital for Sick Children gave him 15 more years of life.
If he had lived, he would have been 60 this year.
Still unknown treatments
Barbara Ginther, in Saskatchewan, made it to 60 because of a new drug, Trikafta.
In a letter supporting CF Month, Ginther wrote, “Last September, my lung function reached an all-time low. Things looked hopeless.
“On October 7, 2021 I received my first dose [of Trikafta]. It took about a week to feel a change in my breathing. One morning I woke up lying on my back and I was not coughing. I hadn’t slept on my back for at least 15 years!
“I have improved every day since then. My lung function was up to 37% when I left the hospital on October 20th. A follow up test in January this year showed my lung function at 62%!”
Another CF survivor celebrated his 62nd birthday earlier this year, thanks to a double lung transplant 30 years ago.
But Trikafta wasn’t available for our son. Nor was a lung transplant.
CF affects mainly digestion and breathing. Our son took handfuls of pills -- literally handfuls -- to help him digest food.
He needed two hours of physiotherapy every day, administered by us, by hand, as he lay head downward on a posture board, to jiggle out the mucus clogging his lungs.
At night, he slept in a mist tent. The incessant moisture was supposed to soften the mucus in his lungs. For my wife, it meant stripping, washing, and drying our son’s bedding. Every day. Year round.
By the time our son died, he wasn’t using a mist tent anymore. But he needed oxygen all night. And a feeding tube inserted into his stomach.
We lived in constant fear of what the future might bring.
Changing my mind
One night, when I was feeling amorous, my wife rolled away from me.
“I can’t,” she sobbed. “If I got pregnant again, I’d have to have an abortion. Or kill myself.”
Do you see the connection now?
Until then I had mostly opposed abortion. I saw it as a last resort, an un-do button, for rape, promiscuity, or carelessness.
My boss and editor, a church official, opposed abortion vehemently. He disagreed strongly when the United Church of Canada decided in 1971, two years before Roe vs Wade, that abortion should be a matter between a woman and her doctor.
Not something that elderly male clergy should decide for women.
My boss was one of those elderly men. He believed his church was wrong. He fought the decision openly.
He was like a second father to me. So I tended to follow his lead.
Then suddenly, abortion became personal. This was not some anonymous rape victim needing an abortion. Nor was it a woman who hadn’t bothered using contraception. This was my wife, the woman I loved, for better or for worse
I was faced with unacceptable alternatives. If I rejected abortion, I could lose my wife. Or I could accept that abortion might sometimes be the lesser of evils.
I chose a third option. I had a vasectomy.
But I have never since been able to take an outright stand against abortion. I don’t support abortion. I’d rather that no one had to have an abortion. Ever.
But that choice has to be the woman’s. Not mine.
This is not a theoretical matter that can be debated interminably. It’s not about when life begins, or whether a fetus is a human being yet, or about the sanctity of sex.
It’s about choice. And who makes it. The person most directly involved? Or someone else?
*******************************************************
Copyright © 2022 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups encouraged; links from other blogs welcomed; all other rights reserved.
To send comments, to subscribe, or to unsubscribe, write jimt@quixotic.ca
********************************************************
Your turn
Last week’s column was a difficult one. It dealt with clergy sexual abuse, 37 years ago. The victim, in that story, received no support from the United Church’s official structures; I don’t know how much she might have received locally. I contended that the church might be better at providing services for victims, but it still ignores congregations.
Tom Watson agreed: “You're absolutely right. There's a third party that's neglected. It's a traumatic event in the congregation when their formerly beloved leader is charged. I know of several instances. In one instance, the minister was arrested on Sunday morning, not long before church. The congregation was left reeling.”
Florence Driedger also agreed about the effect on congregations: “Amen to the ‘collateral damage’.”
Sandy Warren offered some hope: “Maybe as more and more of these stories, from both the past and present, are told, victims will be more able to speak out and receive help. The shame will finally be rightly be on the perpetrators, instead of carried by the victims as it all too often has been.”
Gloria Jorgenson asked a question that I’m sure had also occurred to others: “Just for my own edification, can you explain how this situation qualifies as rape? It seems it went on for a period of time, she returned to the scene in spite of knowing what was likely to take place there, and she was a mature woman of marriageable age. While I agree that his actions were reprehensible, I don't see in what way it qualifies as rape.”
Don Gunning asked, “what makes a man like him tick -- particularly in the context of his ‘calling’. The extent of his abuses over so many years is mind-boggling -- as is the inability, or worse still the unwillingness -- of our church to deal with it long before Deanna's life was destroyed. Utterly tragic.
“It certainly supports one's occasional suspicions of the flattering words seen in some obituaries.”
Isabel Gibson: “One thing it made me think about was the difference in responsibility when acting for oneself versus acting for an organization. If I admit a fault, any consequences are pretty much mine to bear. If I admit a fault as a representative of an organization or community or government or church, the possible consequences are dramatically increased in scope and can (and likely will) fall on people who had no say in my decision, and no feeling of responsibility for the fault.
“And yet, collectively, we are all responsible for the sins our organizations commit, at the same time as we are the victims of them.”
******************************************
TECHNICAL STUFF
If you want to comment on something, write me at jimt@quixotic.ca. Or just hit the ‘Reply’ button.
To subscribe or unsubscribe, send me an e-mail message at the address above. Or subscribe electronically by sending a blank e-mail (no message) to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca. Similarly, you can un-subscribe at sharpedges-unsubscribe@lists.quixotic.ca.
You can now access current columns and seven years of archives at http://quixotic.ca
I write a second column each Wednesday, called Soft Edges, which deals somewhat more gently with issues of life and faith. To sign up for Soft Edges, write to me directly at the address above, or send a blank e-mail to softedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca
And for those of you who like poetry, please check my webpage .https://quixotic.ca/My-Poetry If you’d like to receive notifications about new poems, write me at jimt@quixotic.ca, or subscribe yourself to the list by sending a blank email (no message) to poetry-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca (If it doesn’t work, please let me know.)
********************************************
PROMOTION STUFF…
To use the links in this section, you’ll have to insert the necessary symbols. (This is to circumvent filters that think some of these links are spam.)
Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,” is an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. http://wwwDOTchurchwebcanadaDOTca. He set up my webpage, and he doesn’t charge enough.
I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, wwwDOTtraditionaliconoclastDOTcom. She also runs beautiful pictures. Her Thanksgiving presentation on the old hymn, For the Beauty of the Earth, Is, well, beautiful -- https://www.traditionaliconoclast.com/2019/10/13/for/
Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at tomwatsoATgmailDOTcom (NB that’s “watso” not “watson”)
ALVA WOOD ARCHIVE
The late Alva Wood’s collection of satiric and sometimes wildly funny columns about a mythical village’s misadventures now have an archive (don’t ask how this happened) on my website: http://quixotic.ca/Alva-Wood-Archive. Feel free to browse all 550 columns