Sunday January 30, 2022
A group of men, all over 70, meet by Zoom every Monday to solve the problems of the world. We call ourselves the Golden Guys. If Bea Arthur and her friends could be Golden Girls, we see no reason why we can’t be Golden Guys.
Last week, we realized that we have more in common than age. Of the six Golden Guys present, every one of us had at least one child, grandchild, or close family relative with some kind of intellectual, physical, or emotional challenge.
Some of our young ones have been officially diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Some are in excellent physical shape, but have emotional handicaps. Some will never be able to read or do math above a Grade 4 level. Some have physical malfunctions.
I’m deliberately being vague, because this column is not, and should not be, about them.
It’s about us.
And about the Olympic Games, now less than a week away.
The Olympics, you see, celebrate the best, the strongest, the fastest. And these kids are never going to be any of those.
They each have some exceptional qualities – in music, in art, in sports, in empathy…. But their limitations will never allow them to persevere with the kind of dedication that lifts them to the top.
No room at the top
The pinnacle of a pyramid is a very small space. These kids will never stand at the podium with a gold medal around their necks.
One of these children sobbed on her grandfather’s shoulder, “I’m a loser!”
Heart-breaking.
I see these children, these young people, as victims of our society’s obsession with being the best, epitomized in the Olympics.
We simply don’t know how to celebrate their being what they are.
A friend pointed out to me, not long ago, “Half the world is below average.”
Garrison Keeler used to conclude his monologues about life in Lake Woebegone with the line, “Where all the children are above average.”
They can’t all be above average. It’s a mathematical impossibility. But all parents like to believe that their child, at least, is above average.
So how should parents respond when a child brings home a report card with a failing grade? “Congratulations, sweetie! Nobody else gets marks as low as you!”
How about, “Great race, son! You made every other runner look good!”
You might as well tell your boss, “Bravo! That’s the most mediocre pep talk you’ve ever given!”
More likely, I expect, parents will commit themselves to work with the child to improve his grades, her impulse control. To improve the individual’s marks, or performance.
Which, tragically, reinforces the conviction that he or she can’t do it alone.
Virtue or vice?
The Seven Deadly Sins, defined by Pope Gregory the Great – the same prelate who crafted our present calendar of leap years – put hubris, pride, at the head of the list.
Yet that’s exactly what we, parents and grandparents, hope to instill. We call it self-esteem, but it’s still pride. Because they don’t have enough of it. They feel constantly defeated. By a page full of words. By a sheet of printed music. By a competitive world.
Remember the gospel song: “So high, you can’t get over it; so wide, you can’t go around it…”?
To me, that song epitomizes the barriers confronting young people with physical or mental challenges. For them, simply trying harder won’t work.
And I don’t think that assuring them, “Jesus loves you,” offers much consolation.
Pardon me for even saying this, but I don’t think love is enough. In a society obsessed with being Number One, I’m not convinced that a comforting hug compensates for a permanent place at the bottom of the pyramid.
A tough test in empathy
I’m trying hard to sense what it must feel like down there. I have to recognize that I speak as a privileged one. Who was often near the top of my class. Who won athletic awards at university. Who earned respect – maybe even admiration – during my working life.
Even so, I’ve never been the best. At anything.
Of seven billion humans of this planet, I might make it into the upper two billion. For most of my life, I suspect, I’ve felt envy for those above me, and contempt for those below me.
And that’s simply not good enough.
Somehow, we – including me – need to find ways to avoid making comparisons. To find ways to celebrate WITH those who will never win a gold medal.
Our obsession with reaching the top, with being the bestest, doesn’t help them. Or us.
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Copyright © 2022 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups encouraged; links from other blogs welcomed; all other rights reserved.
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Your turn
Most of the responses to last week’s column, about a CBC free of commercials in corporate interests, supported the CBC.
Several letters focussed on the question of warning labels.
Sandy Hayes: “I do not believe that warnings on products work -- but if statistics show it does, who am I to argue. Perhaps it prevents some from beginning to smoke as they gaze at the horrid pictures on the package -- who knows. I doubt such warnings would have any effect on alcohol, and definitely not on cars. Until people are willing to make an effort to clean up the world and the mess we have made of it, nothing will change. Most people are so ‘into’ buying or having things and especially now (after Covid) are determined not to allow government to ‘interfere’ with their choices. People will only stand for ‘authority’ to tell them what to do for so long -- sounds childish to say, but I believe it to be true.
Lois Hollstedt had sensible cautions: “While I agree alcohol should have a warning label my question is where do we stop. If we take the example of cars also needing warning labels then what about the heating fuels we use to keep us warm in winter or cool in summer, or the use of GHG energy that makes electricity so we can cook our meals and light the dark nights….do they also need warning labels?
“Would a truth in advertising council with real regulatory clout be more efficient to ensure that all advertising is based on truth and subject to real standards, inspections & penalties like the food industry. I would sooner spend my tax money preventing false information coming to me & my family from all sources.
“The Marketing of products and ideas has been the source of both great progress and many false claims so let’s fix the right problem. I support more CBC funding but also know that more money does not always equate with excellence….goals & expected outcomes must be clear before the money flows and transparent analysis clearly communicated after it is spent. How well we manage both ends of problem solving determines our trust in the solutions and the people and organizations who spend our money.”
Apparently some cars DO carry warning labels. James West sent along a picture! Not readable, unfortunately.
Thelma Arnott: “In the 1950’s I worked at the CBC. The show, Juliette, played after the hockey game. Their sponsor, Players Cigarettes, would not allow Scottish music on the programme -- it might remind people of Export Cigarettes!
“Advertising sponsors wield too much power over content.”
Cliff Boldt: “Follow the money, indeed.”
Terry Carscadden: “Once again, money is the bottom line. Not the money itself but the use of it! What would it take to cut these, mostly dumb, commercials?”
David Gilchrist took specific aim at one of those commercials: “It ‘curls my hair’ to hear that clown talk about ‘Payments don’t start till the second month. So it is absolutely free!’ The truth is that the first month payment is simply postponed, and then spread over the next few months -- and you will continue paying for it as long as you are connected. And the Reverse Mortgage gives you that money ‘absolutely free’?”
Clare Neufeld: “I have felt a personal sense of loss on the ‘commercialization’ of our former national cultural and informational conduit. Subjectively, perception was (is?) that it could/would/did offer a seemingly reliable portrayal of Canadian and international affairs from a (more or less) balanced and “objective” posture/perspective.
“(I acknowledge those who would excitedly disagree, whose feeling is that the CBC was a socialistic tool for social engineering, etc. The debate continues unabated, even within my own extended family.)”
John Willems: “What you ask of CBC may be noble but impossible.”
Dick Best offered an outside perspective: “I would love to see CBC and/or other broadcasting systems operating without advertising. However, as a U.S. citizen, I am fully aware that the ‘sponsorships’ on NPR are advertising under a different heading. I give my financial support to my local NPR station, but know they cannot fund themselves without their advertisers, whatever they call them.”
Ted Spencer: “A CBC delivering non-stop commercials, without pesky music or carefully-reasoned discussion interrupting them, might actually reflect a truer 2022 Canada to Canadians.
“It must be noted that civilized countries have independent, funded, public broadcasters (and health care and any number of other like things). Uncivilized countries don’t. There’s the yardstick.”
The views of Steve Roney and Bob Rollwagen could hardly be farther apart.
Steve Roney wrote, “You are of course right that corporations that advertise have their own agenda, and cannot be expected to put the public interest above their own. You are also aware that this is true of politicians.
“But you do not seem aware that this is necessarily also true of the bureaucracy, and of any profession such as journalism. Therefore, by cutting out advertisers and political oversight you cut out any checks and balances, however imperfect, against their possible pursuit of self-interest. Better to have as many as possible competing interests involved, each balancing the others out.
“Unless funding were directly tied to viewership and listenership -- as it might be -- your CBC would be answerable to no one.”
And Bob Rollwagen wrote, “You have neatly summarized the right-wing socially advantaged white segment of our population, the ones who continue to demand tax reductions… Right-wing conservative government has reduced CBC funding and pushed it into competition with commercial organizations. Typical of Conservative strategy -- now that this is done, they can now argue that the CBC should be eliminated as it is not fully commercial.
“As tax payers, we need to step up to make the CBC the organization that ties and educates Canadians in the non-partisan fashion that always has been its strength.”
Tom Watson concurred: “It's interesting to note that more conservative voices have been trying to get rid of the CBC for years because [they think] it's too costly now, let alone if it had no ad revenue.”
Don Snesrud: “I WOULD BE WILLING TO PAY CBC IF THEY DID NOT CARRY ADVERTIZING!”
Sheila Carey: “I don’t usually reply when all I can say is ‘YES!!’ I agree with every word. But this is important. Now to figure out how to make it happen.”
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TECHNICAL STUFF
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PROMOTION STUFF…
To use the links in this section, you’ll have to insert the necessary symbols. (This is to circumvent filters that think some of these links are spam.)
Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,” is an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. http://wwwDOTchurchwebcanadaDOTca. He set up my webpage, and he doesn’t charge enough.
I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, wwwDOTtraditionaliconoclastDOTcom. She also runs beautiful pictures. Her Thanksgiving presentation on the old hymn, For the Beauty of the Earth, Is, well, beautiful -- https://www.traditionaliconoclast.com/2019/10/13/for/
Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at tomwatsoATgmailDOTcom (NB that’s “watso” not “watson”)
ALVA WOOD ARCHIVE
The late Alva Wood’s collection of satiric and sometimes wildly funny columns about a mythical village’s misadventures now have an archive (don’t ask how this happened) on my website: http://quixotic.ca/Alva-Wood-Archive. Feel free to browse all 550 columns.