Jim Taylor's Columns - 'Soft Edges' and 'Sharp Edges'

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Published on Monday, November 8, 2021

A little bit extra goes a long way

Thursday December 4, 2021

 

The bus ahead of me stopped at the roadside. Although it wasn’t a school bus, just a regular B.C. Transit vehicle, a stream of young children gushed out the door onto the grass. It might have been a daycare group, or a kindergarten class. 

            After the last child, the shepherding adults got off. 

            By then the kids were celebrating their freedom from confinement. They flung their backpacks on the ground. They romped around in wild disarray. 

            The adults tried to round them up, to gather them into a controllable cluster, so that they could move on --  probably a field trip to someone’s orchard. 

            The bus driver could have driven on. All the passengers had left the bus. The driver no longer had any responsibility for them. 

            But the driver didn’t leave. The doors stayed open. The bus waited. Long enough to form a protective barrier between the kids and any passing cars. Just long enough to make sure the adults had their flock under control. 

            Then, and only then, with a squish of air, the doors closed, the brakes released, the bus resumed its route.

            As far as I know, no rules or regulations required that driver to provide that extra consideration. 

            That little bit extra. That little bit above and beyond what’s expected. 

 

Century-old wisdom

            It makes such a difference. 

            It’s the nurse who takes a few seconds to hold your hand. The dry cleaner who remembers your name when you enter his premises. The grocery clerk who leads you to what you’re looking for, instead of merely barking “Aisle 10.”

            And if that little bit extra becomes the new norm, you find some other little bit extra.

            Now, I grant you, there are times when you simply can’t afford extra time. You’re already late for picking up your mother from her chiropractor. Down the hall, you can hear your boss’s impatient “harrumph!” It’s starting to rain, and you left your convertible’s top down…

            But so often, we avoid doing that little bit extra because it’s too much effort. Because, in fact, we don’t really care about the person we’re interacting with.

            Over and over, I appreciate the wisdom of the German philosopher and theologian Martin Buber. Just under 100 years ago, he observed that we often treat the people around us as things. As objects. In his terms, as an “it” we have to deal with.

            We have an “I-it” relationship with them.

            Better, Buber argued, if we treated those people as a “you.” Or, again in his terms, as a “thou,” a more intimate level of “you”. As if everyone we met was a friend or a potential friend. Even, perhaps, a family member. 

            I would go further. Even “I-thou” separates us. I’d like to have us think in “we” terms. Recognizing that we are one common humanity, transcending race and religion and gender. Indeed, one common life. Flora and fauna, sparrows and trout and pines and squirrels – we all live and breathe; we all have a beginning and an ending.

            Each time we show a little bit of extra compassion and care for other life forms, we “love our neighbour as ourselves.”

            Even if we’re just doing our job, driving a bus. 

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Copyright © 2021 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.

            To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca

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YOUR TURN

 

A few letters are still trickling in, evoked by the column two weeks ago on the way our synapses pop up with memories unexpectedly. But I’ll limit the letters I print here to those about provenance, last week’s column.

 

Isabel Gibson: “Your extension of the theme of provenance to us is quite delightful. I *am* a work of art, dagnab it. And so are you. And you, and you . . .”

 

Bob Rollwagen expanded the notion of provenance: “It is unfortunate that the provenance of every social media contributor is not presented prior to allowing access to their contributions. It could lead to a more rational public consideration of reality.”

 

Don Gunning remembered the industrial arts teachers he and I had when we were schoolmates: “I think all of us (Grade 6) had to make a wooden tea tray.

            “When we had finished putting ours together -- raised edges and higher handles on the ends -- he would come around and draw quite artistic flower and leaf designs on the flat portion. Then he would use a v-shaped chisel to carve grooves around all of them. We would then be required to carefully paint them all with several colours of glossy enamel paint, and to present the varnished finished product to our proudly impressed mothers!

            “How's that for provenance? We kept my mother’s tray for years -- lost it somewhere along the way -- regrettably!”

 

Wilda Bostwick: “Your message on provenance really struck a chord with me. It goes a long way to explain why seniors have difficulty leaving their homes in spite of all kinds of ‘logical’ reasons why it is time for them to live in a space that's smaller and easier to maintain and/or closer to services that would make their lives more convenient. 

            “When people look at something in my home and say, ‘Is there a story behind that?’ I laugh and say, ‘There's a story behind pretty much everything I still own. Don't ask unless you have time to hear it.’ I intend to write up the stories on index cards and tuck them behind each work of art or under each piece of furniture. That increases the odds the next owner will get more pleasure from the item than if they didn't know its history. 

            “I hope the wasteful practice of built-in obsolescence in home decor sputters out in favour of giving new homes and uses to previously-loved pieces.”

 

Tom Watson asked, “Whence the phrase ‘I'm older than dirt?’ That's an interesting provenance.”

 

Jim Hoffman: “My wife and I enjoy going to tag/estate sales and as we peruse the many items offered for sale, we wonder about the ‘provenance’ of those items.  What is the story behind this particular item? Has it been in the family a long time? Why was it chosen? Was it cherished?  Was it priceless to someone? 

            “As the new owner carries away their new possession, the item does lose its provenance; the story behind it is lost. But in many cases, a new story begins and a new ‘provenance’ has been created.”

 

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Psalm paraphrase

 

In the psalmist's time, Psalm 127 declares the common belief that children offered the only social security most families had. Barrenness was considered a curse because you would lack family support in old age. Today, when many people choose not to have children, they have to rely on government pensions for financial security. But what about emotional security?

 

1          The road of life takes many tricky turns;
you never know what crisis waits around the corner.

2          Each day has only 24 hours;
You cannot earn bonus points by burning candles at both ends; 
You will only burn yourself out. 
But God knows what you can do, and God will give you the strength you need.

3          God gives family and friends to sustain us when we weaken;

4          They are our insurance against the future. 

5          Treat everyone as a friend, and you will never lack support when you need it. 

 

You can find paraphrases of most of the psalms in the Revised Common Lectionary in my book Everyday Psalmsavailable from Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.

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TECHNICAL STUFF

 

If you want to comment on something, send a message directly to me, jimt@quixotic.ca.

            To subscribe or unsubscribe, send an e-mail message to jimt@quixotic.ca. Or you can subscribe electronically by sending a blank e-mail (no message or subject line) to softedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca. Similarly, you can un-subscribe at softedges-unsubscribe@lists.quixotic.ca.

            I write a second column each Sunday called Sharp Edges, which tends to be somewhat more cutting about social and justice issues. To sign up for Sharp Edges, write to me directly, jimt@quixotic.ca, or send a note to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca

            If you’re interested in the poems I occasionally wrte, please check my webpage .https://quixotic.ca/My-Poetry And If you’d like to receive notifications about new poems, write me at jimt@quixotic.ca, or subscribe yourself to the list by sending a blank email (no message) to poetry-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca (If it doesn’t work, please let me know.)

 

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PROMOTION STUFF

 

To use the links in this section, you’ll have to insert the necessary symbols. Some spam filters have blocked my posts because they’re suspicious of the web links.

            Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,” an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. http://wwwDOTchurchwebcanadaDOTca He’s also relatively inexpensive!

            I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, wwwDOTtraditionaliconoclastDOTcom. She also has lots of beautiful photos. Especially of birds.

            Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at tomwatsoATgmailDOTcom (NB that’s “watso” not “watson”)

 

ALVA WOOD’S ARCHIVE

            I have acquired (don’t ask how) the complete archive of the late Alva Wood’s collection of satiric and sometimes wildly funny columns about a mythical village’s misadventures. I’ve put them on my website: http://quixotic.ca/Alva-Wood-Archive. You’re welcome to browse. No charge. (Although maybe if I charged a fee, more people would find the archive worth visiting.)

 

 

 


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Author: Jim Taylor

Categories: Soft Edges

Tags: Buber, bus driver, I-thou

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