Sunday September 5, 2021
I had my 85th birthday this last week. It’s a new experience for me. I’ve never had an 85th birthday before; I’ll know I’ll never have one again. Obviously.
I don’t feel 85. I don’t look 85. I don’t act 85. That’s safe to say, because these days no one knows what 85 should look, feel, or act like. Not long ago, 85 meant lying on your back with your hands crossed on your chest, waiting for the coffin lid to close.
During my lifetime, the life expectancy for Canadian males has risen from under 60 to over 80. I have already exceeded my best-before date.
I get at least an hour’s exercise every day. I walk, I hike, I do yard work, I sing. I do the daily newspaper puzzles. And I write. All to keep my brain from coasting into neutral.
But -- isn’t there always a “but”? -- I don’t do any of those tasks as well as I used to. No part of my body works as well as it did.
Not even my brain. I can’t remember names of long-time friends, Fred Astaire’s dancing partner, or where I left my coffee cup.
The great adventure
As I have written before, I’ve outlived too many my contemporaries. The years feel increasingly lonely.
I’ve gone from operator-assisted phone calls to dial phones to pushbutton phones to cell phones to “Hey Siri.” I’ve gone from flathead engines to overhead valves to overhead cams to plug-in hybrids.
It has been quite an adventure.
And it’s not over yet. Although I have removed some items from my bucket list. I have any no desire to go sky-diving, bungee-jumping, rock-climbing without a rope, and crocodile-wrestling. If I ever did.
Once upon a time, I would not have thought twice about driving the Coquihalla Highway while wildfires flared on both sides of the road. I was invincible, immortal. Today, I think twice -- even thrice -- and don’t do it.
I don’t take chances the way I used to. I don’t climb anything higher than a household step ladder. Even then, I’m careful. Living alone since Joan’s death, I don’t have anyone around to call 9-1-1 if I fall while changing a light bulb.
Two classes of old
My 85th birthday made me feel I have crossed some kind of threshold, some invisible Rubicon. I have entered a new phase of my life.
My almost-brother Ralph Milton defines it as the division between the young-old and the old-old.
The young-old are the newly retired. Without employment to tie them down, they’re free to do all those things they always wanted to do. So they take trips to exotic destinations, practice hobbies, fling themselves into good works.
Instead of a regular income from their employment, most of them have a regular income from their pension plans.
Almost all books and magazines about aging deal with the young-old, assuring people they can still enjoy life to the fullest. They don’t need to be lonely. They don’t need to move to a care facility. They can keep buying toys to entertain themselves.
But that doesn’t apply to the old-old. Their backs hurt too much to play golf. Their fishing buddies have died. They can’t drive. Their children want them to live where someone will look after them.
Life isn’t as much fun anymore.
Ralph noted that there are no books, no resources, for the old-old.
So he wrote one. It’s coming out at the end of October, published by Douglas and McIntyre, called Well Aged.
I recommend it. Because I recognize myself in it. Somehow, overnight, I stopped being young.
Facing reality
It’s not a physical transformation from young-old to old-old. Something sneaked up on my emotions while I wasn’t watching.
I have to realize that I have no future. No long-term future, at least. I hope to live another ten years or so. But I don’t expect to be around long enough to cure climate change. To get rid of inequities in Canada’s tax system. Or even to teach literacy in, say, Nicaragua.
I’m not complaining -- just stating fact. I cannot change the reality that my life will run out. And that day is getting closer every birthday.
It’s been a great ride. A glorious adventure. I’ve been blessed with friends, with opportunities for service, with the freedom to spend my life doing things I have loved.
I have been blessed. I hope I have been a blessing to some others.
But an 85th birthday makes clear that the status quo cannot, and will not, continue indefinitely.
*******************************************************
Copyright © 2021 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups encouraged; links from other blogs welcomed; all other rights reserved.
To send comments, to subscribe, or to unsubscribe, write jimt@quixotic.ca
********************************************************
Your turn
I was astonished at the amount of mail for last week’s column on the now-abandoned war in Afghanistan.
James West knew that situation personally: “While serving as chaplain among the first to arrive in Afghanistan in December 2001, I had mused that the war on poverty and the war on drugs hadn’t gone very well, thus the war on terror probably wouldn’t either. Those three issues feed on one another, poverty leading to hopelessness, leading to something to numb the pain, drugs, and when that doesn’t work, lash out with violence. What then could break the cycle? Hope?
“Imagine a peace plan that would involve entrepreneurs from Europe, especially, who could convert poppy fields into ski resorts in the foothills of the Himalayas, channel the runoff from the snow melt to fill the dry creek beds, and create resorts. Use the proceeds to fund education, clinics, and so on. In essence, give people a reason to live in peace with one another.
“Such were the thoughts among members of the coalition of the willing in the early days, among some of us. The original idea surfaced when we wondered why is there so much anger here. Couldn’t people just have some fun and relax?
“It may be optimistic to conclude that we are back to zero, twenty years later. Perhaps in the midst of despair, light can shine, and hope re-emerge.”
Fran Ota noted, “This war was never about Osama bin Laden, much as that was touted. Afghanistan is a country rich in mineral deposits, including but not limited to, lithium. It’s suspected that Afghanistan sits atop one of the larger lithium deposits in the world. The U.S., I’m sure, had hoped to get mining rights.”
Bob Rollwagen: “If the amount of effort and money spent on Afghanistan had been used for a War on Racism and Sexism in the USA, I expect the world would be a fairer and slightly more equal place. Words, thoughts, and actions are circular. The Allied invasion 20 years ago had many goals that were excellent intentions but lacked in an understanding of the traditions of Eastern societies.
“Creating a democracy is much harder than an autocracy and even harder to maintain. Few countries have truly succeeded in modern times and they had strong economic support of existing democratic economies. Let’s hope someone is learning.”
Steve Roney thought I had been unfair: “Americans are not particularly guilty of using the war metaphor. Objecting to it looks more like an attack on Islam. ‘Jihad’ is a core Muslim concept. War is also the basic metaphor for Marxists: class war, class struggle. Christians, perhaps, as Americans are on the whole, are perhaps less inclined to the image than most groups. But the Salvation Army does some great work based on the image, and the Bible speaks of an eternal war between good and evil.
“Like all metaphors, it fails when misapplied, but when it is apt, it is extremely useful.
James Russell also disagreed with my premise that a choice of words would affect one’s behaviour: “If this were true, it would suggest that fixing individual language postures might save whole civilizations. Sorry, buddy: that dog won’t hunt.
“U.S. Presidents certainly do use the available tropes (and troops) for public posturing in aid of gaining and maintaining power. But it’s the investment in the war machine and the profits to be made by suppliers who lobby hard and expensively that keeps the war option so near the top of the pile.
“The problem isn’t how we speak about war, but that we treat it as a profitable boondoggle and bury the public costs in pursuit of private gains. We need better political education, not NLP.”
Lois Hollstedt took my side: “The USA was born in revolution, it continues to worship guns, and its military is revered and praised. Whenever I hear the words ‘bombs bursting in air’ in the American Anthem, I think it is no wonder that they spend trillions on weaponry and war systems while more of their people live in poverty, people who are sick go without health care or are bankrupt, while human services like education struggle for resources. If you teach young children to learn to sing about and honour ‘Bombs’ and ‘rockets red glare’ you should not be surprised at the outcome. Yes words are important. And I believe we do reap what we sow.”
Rachel Prichard wrote, “Unfortunately Canada has jumped on the ‘war’ bandwagon. You didn't mention the ‘war on cancer’. When we took our 8-year-old granddaughter for weekly chemo at the Sick Kids in Toronto we were confronted with pictures on the elevator doors of children with face paint in warrior-like poses ‘fighting the war’ on children's cancer.’
Rachel contrasted the pictures with “ the soft-spoken medics hoping to save her eyesight; or with the lovely nurses, MRI techs, and pediatricians we met there. The kindness combined with professionalism and skill that we encountered bore no resemblance whatever to a war zone.
“As a cancer survivor, I don't find the analogy helpful or reassuring.”
Sandy Carpenter liked my line: "Success meant defeating an enemy, not building a friend."
He wrote, “This is something I have been thinking about for quite a while ~ especially in the political quagmire we are in here in the U.S. I say this because a huge element of our society lives their lives ~ unconsciously, perhaps ~ by this mantra: change the ‘other’ to conform to MY truth! Civility is impossible until we quit seeing everyone as our enemy if they disagree with us.”
Isabel Gibson looked a both sides of the problem: “It's tough to maintain a multi-generational effort across a political cycle chopped-up into 4-year bits. Such is the difficulty of addressing really big problems through government, as opposed to a broad societal effort and commitment.
“On the other hand, it's tough to apply the necessary resources to change big problems without the spending power of government, not to mention the military might that is sometimes warranted.
“If we can't figure out how to address this dilemma, I think we're in an ongoing world of hurt.
“As for the result of that war, which you assess as ‘zero’, I'd say it's too soon to tell what effects it might have had. In some parts of the country a generation of Afghan girls grew up in a markedly different environment than they would have under ongoing Taliban rule -- and so did their brothers.”
Gary Kenny picked up an implication I had overlooked: “Thank you for your thoughtful column on Afghanistan. Well, mostly thoughtful.
I agree, ‘We need to be more conscious of the implications of the words we choose to use.’
“But then you write, ‘...a rigidly anti-western cohort of Islamic males." While it's apparently literally true that the Taliban is controlled by Islamic males, to say so in such a casual, generalized way without a broader context surely paints all of Islam and all Muslims with one derogatory brush. If fundamentalists who call themselves Christian were the perpetrators of oppression and persecution, would you also call them a ‘cohort of Christian males?’
“For the past 20 years at least, much effort has been expended on emphasizing the importance of contextualizing and nuancing references to the Islamic faith so as not to tag all Muslims with the beliefs and actions of a fanatical few. The tendency to generalize has resulted in the unjust and sometimes brutal persecution of many Muslims around the world. In this regard the words we choose are, as you rightly say, so very important.”
******************************************
TECHNICAL STUFF
If you want to comment on something, write me at jimt@quixotic.ca. Or just hit the ‘Reply’ button.
To subscribe or unsubscribe, send me an e-mail message at the address above. Or subscribe electronically by sending a blank e-mail (no message) to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca. Similarly, you can un-subscribe at sharpedges-unsubscribe@lists.quixotic.ca.
You can now access current columns and seven years of archives at http://quixotic.ca
I write a second column each Wednesday, called Soft Edges, which deals somewhat more gently with issues of life and faith. To sign up for Soft Edges, write to me directly at the address above, or send a blank e-mail to softedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca
And for those of you who like poetry, you might check my webpage https://quixotic.ca/My-Poetry. If you’d like to receive notifications about new poems, write me at jimt@quixotic.ca, or subscribe yourself to the list by sending a blank email (no message) to poetry-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca(If it doesn’t work, please let me know.)
********************************************
PROMOTION STUFF…
To use the links in this section, you’ll have to insert the necessary symbols. (This is to circumvent filters that think some of these links are spam.)
Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,” is an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. http://wwwDOTchurchwebcanadaDOTca. He set up my webpage, and he doesn’t charge enough.
I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, wwwDOTtraditionaliconoclastDOTcom. She also runs beautiful pictures. Her Thanksgiving presentation on the old hymn, For the Beauty of the Earth, Is, well, beautiful -- https://www.traditionaliconoclast.com/2019/10/13/for/
Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at tomwatsoATgmailDOTcom (NB that’s “watso” not “watson”)
ALVA WOOD ARCHIVE
The late Alva Wood’s collection of satiric and sometimes wildly funny columns about a mythical village’s misadventures now have an archive (don’t ask how this happened) on my website: http://quixotic.ca/Alva-Wood-Archive. Feel free to browse all 550 columns.