I don’t know much about bullying. Either by being bullied, or being a bully myself.

            I had a boss, for a short while, who was a bully. And when I was a skinny kid with an English accent, the boy next door attempted to bully me, but a bigger kid took me under his wing, and that ended the bullying.

            I won’t pretend my high school had no bullying. I didn’t get bullied – at least, not that I can remember. \But I remember one boy who seemed to get constantly picked on – perhaps because he never fought back. One day some of the other kids locked him into a locker, too cramped to move, with no light, for a whole period.

            I didn’t stop them. Maybe that makes me an accomplice.

            But here’s the thing – not one of those people would have called what they were doing “bullying.”

            Bullying is defined by the victim. Never by the bully.

            This coming Wednesday, February 22, is Anti-Bullying Day. We’re asked to wear pink that day, in solidarity with victims of bullying.

Not just about children

            I think Anti-Bullying Day is a great idea. But I hope we don’t think of bullying as something that happens only in schools, where children bully other children. The bullying problem is much bigger than that.

            Adults can also be bullies. The U.S. currently has one occupying the White House. I doubt if any of his staff will show up on Wednesday wearing pink.

            Military officers, I submit with some trepidation, are trained to be bullies – taught to expect, to demand, submission to their orders. Disobedience is punishable by anything from push-ups to court martial.

            Yes, they’re issuing those orders for the sake of the greater good. Or at least that’s the rationale. But torturers can use the same rationale.

            This last week, Amnesty International released a report about the Saydnaya prison in Syria. In the last four years, between 5,000 and 13,000 prisoners have been executed by hanging in its dungeons.

            Amnesty’s data, gathered from the limited number who survived the prison, paints a horrifying picture of brutality. A former prison guard described beating detainees throughout the night before they were taken to execution: “We know they will die anyway, so we do whatever we want with them.”

            You cannot be a torturer and be compassionate. If you back off because your victim screams as you crush his fingers, pull out his nails, hold his head underwater, and apply electric shocks to his genitals, you will never reduce him to the state of quivering helplessness where, to make the pain go away, he will tell you anything, anything at all.

            Even if none of it is true.

Glorifying bullies

            History is full of bullies. In fact, most of history is about bullies. History rarely devotes chapters to gentle people like Francis of Assisi, Mother Teresa, or Mahatma Gandhi. Instead, it documents the ruthlessness of Nero, the ravages of Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun, the conquests of Napoleon.

            Henry VIII did not use gentle persuasion on his wives.

            Stalin had gulags; Hitler, death camps; Pol Pot, killing fields.

            Lyndon Johnson dumped 2,756,941 tons of bombs on Cambodia; Nixon defoliated Vietnam with Agent Orange. Those actions didn’t necessarily accomplish anything, but they made the other side suffer.

            To me, that’s a definition of bullying – it makes you feel good to make someone else feel bad. So ISIS destroys ancient Roman ruins in Palmyra. Not because it defeats enemies, or promotes Islam, but because it bugs other side.

            Bullies live even in churches, mosques, and synagogues. They use their size, voice, wit, or position to get their way, regardless. Denominations bully theological dissenters.

Systems that bully us

            Bureaucratic systems themselves can be bullies – even if no one on staff bears any malice to the victims. Ask anyone waiting six months or more for surgery about “proper procedures.”. Ask the 15,000 federal employees still waiting to get paid by the new Phoenix payroll system.

            Ask Alex Gervais, the troubled 18-year-old boy who jumped out of a fourth-floor hotel window after being shunted through 17 different foster homes over 11 years. The caregiver being paid $8,000 a month to look after him hadn’t shown up for 10 days.

            Oh. Sorry. You can’t ask Alex. He’s dead.

            The B.C. Ministry of Children and Family Development would be my nominee for a system bully. Well-intentioned people, with overwhelming workloads, so busy doing their jobs that desperate families get ground up in the gears.

            Wear a pink shirt on Wednesday. For the victims of bullying. All of them.

*******************************************************

Copyright © 2017 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups encouraged; links from other blogs welcomed; all other rights reserved.

            To send comments, to subscribe, or to unsubscribe, write jimt@quixotic.ca

********************************************************

YOUR TURN

Not as much mail last week. Possibly polygamy is not a subject you’ve had much experience with.

Tom Watson wrote, “You said that you saw no reason why polygamy should be a criminal act...providing it works for everyone's benefit. As you indicate, it doesn't, and is therefore a criminal act. I find it hard to understand why prosecutions have been so difficult in this Bountiful matter.”

            Tom then ran across an article in the Washington Post about child marriage: “I had no idea that in the U.S. there are 27 states in which there is no minimum [age for marriage]. The reason is very telling; the Washington Post article noted, ‘...some state lawmakers have resisted passing legislation to end child marriage -- because they wrongly fear that such measures might unlawfully stifle religious freedom, or because they cling to the notion that marriage is the best solution for a teen pregnancy.

            “What religious freedom would be stifled?” Tom asked. “Christian, I presume. As I say, I have to check my pulse pretty regularly lately to ascertain that I'm still Christian.”

Isabel Gibson also wondered why so little had happened so far: “Yes, sexual relations and marriage should always be about consent between/among people with relatively equal power. It hasn't always been so, of course.  It isn't always so even now in our monogamous approach.  It's still an ideal worth espousing, a target worth pursuing.

            “I have never understood why the Bountiful community presented such a difficult challenge for law enforcement in B.C.  If we're finding a way through that mess, that's a good thing.”

Ted Wilson wasn’t sympathetic to the notion of polygamy: “If God intended men to have multiple wives, we would have had a birth ratio that reflects that.  Since the birth ratio is [roughly] 50/50 the marriage ratio should be the same. Unless we want to go back to when war and killing each other (a mostly a male activity) created an imbalance that needed to be rectified.  If Winston Blackmore or Warren Jeffs want to go back to those times, let’s get a couple of Claymores and go at it. The women and children being subjected to their dominance deserve a better shake in life.

Bob Stoddard had a response to Jim Henderschedt’s letter about down-sizing: “I was astonished when he said he trashed the wood he had accumulated.  Why did he not find someone who could use the wood as it was, as a source for smaller wood parts, or even as firewood?

********************************************

TECHNICAL STUFF

This column comes to you using the electronic facilities of Woodlakebooks.com.

  If you want to comment on something, write me at jimt@quixotic.ca. Or just hit the “Reply” button.

  To subscribe or unsubscribe, send me an e-mail message at the address above. Or subscribe electronically by sending a blank e-mail (no message) to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca. Similarly, you can un-subscribe at sharpedges-unsubscribe@lists.quixotic.ca.

            My webpage is up and running again -- thanks to Wayne Irwin and ChurchWeb Canada. You can now access current columns and five years of archives at http://quixotic.ca

  I write a second column each Wednesday, called Soft Edges, which deals somewhat more gently with issues of life and faith. To sign up for Soft Edges, write to me directly at the address above, or send a blank e-mail to softedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca

********************************************

PROMOTION STUFF…

            Ralph Milton ’s latest project is called “Sing Hallelujah” -- the world’s first video hymnal. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at www.singhallelujah.ca

            Ralph’s HymnSight webpage is still up, http://www.hymnsight.ca, with a vast gallery of photos you can use to enhance the appearance of the visual images you project for liturgical use (prayers, responses, hymn verses, etc.)

            Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,” an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://www.churchwebcanada.ca>

            I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, www.traditionaliconoclast.com

            Alva Wood’s satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town -- not particularly religious, but fun; alvawood@gmail.com to get onto her mailing list.

            Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at tomwatso@gmail.com or twatson@sentex.net