TWhy would most of us rather attend a live concert than listen to a recording – even though the recording may be technically superior? Why do we go to hockey games, when we can see the puck better on TV?

            A deaf percussionist offers some answers.

            Dame Evelyn Glennie can hear next to nothing through her ears. But when she performs with an orchestra, she has to know when the trombones blare, when the violins sing. She says that she feels the vibrations. Through her bare feet. Through her skin. Through her internal organs. Different parts of her body resonate to different frequencies.

            "The whole body's like a huge ear," Glennie says. "It's as simple as that."

            When I go to a live performance – whether on a stage or a playing field – I absorb impressions with my whole body. Not just what the players out front are doing. Also, how the observers respond – with laughter, with shock…. I’m listening with all of me.

More than passive presence

            Listening may seem like doing nothing. Not having to prepare any rebuttals, deliver any words of wisdom, offer any solutions.

            But real listening is more than just being passively present. It’s active involvement.

            My minister used to try to cram three pastoral visits into an afternoon. He came home utterly exhausted. Now he limits himself to one visit.

            Because listening -- really listening, not just waiting for a chance to butt in -- is hard work.

            As Evelyn Glennie demonstrates, listening is a whole-body experience. We don't listen just with our ears. Or, for that matter, with our minds, translating sounds into words, into sentences, into meaningful messages.

            We also listen with our eyes, observing someone's body language. We may even listen with other parts of our bodies. A growing body of research claims that we can intuit the energy emanating from the other person. We may send out our own signals, letting someone know that we’re open to hearing their story. Or, perhaps, not open.

Subduing the ego

            The hardest part of listening is turning off our egos. Most of us want to be what pioneer psychologist Karl Jung called "rescuers". So we feel we have to tell about a wonder cancer treatment in Mexico, about an unusual diet, about an amazing new drug. Then we leave, confident we have helped.

            Or we can't wait to throw in our own story. Perhaps to assure the other person that we've had similar experiences. Or perhaps to top their story, turning conversation into competition.

            Real listening means wiping the blackboard clean. To hear both what the other person is saying, and what they're not saying -- the fears that they can't express, the bewilderment that they can’t articulate.

            Whole-body listening explains why face-to-face meetings are almost always more effective than phone calls. And a phone call better than an email. And almost anything preferable to a dashed-off Tweet.

            Listening is a skill.

            As people age, their ability to perform tasks often declines. They feel useless. But doing isn’t everything. They can still listen. We need to recognize the value of a ministry of listening. Just listening.

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Copyright © 2017 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.

                  To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca

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YOUR TURN

Nan Erbaugh connected last week’s Declaration of Interdependence to another current issue: “Tt strikes me that it is quite appropriate in the midst of our ‘immigration ban’ here in the U.S.  We are all interdependent and must support one another when any one group is targeted.  Whether the issue is Black lives matter, immigration, LGBT rights, access to clean water, or opposing the Dakota pipeline, we are all in this together.  My husband and I attended the protest in Dayton, OH on 03 Feb.  It was wonderful.  Perhaps the election of such a divisive president will be a catalyst to bring us together to protect and support one another.”

Isabel Gibson called Suzuki’s Declaration of Interdependence “a well written credo.” Sheila Carey shared it on Facebook. A couple of writers questioned some implications in the Declaration. I cannot debate those wordings. They come from David Suzuki, not me.

John Hatchard got behind in his reading, so he caught up with two letters.

            About Interdependence, John noted the phrase “... and from competition to cooperation.”

            John wrote, “The headmaster of a school I once taught in [used those words] after he had emptied the trophy case of cups and shields and buried them at the back

of the deepest, darkest cupboard he could find in his school. He also treated his staff and the children alike as friends who worked and played together. This reached a sort of climax when one boy, having just returned from school camp, asked in assembly, ‘If we can call teachers by their first name when at camp, why can't we call them by their first names here in school?’

            “The headmaster had no answer and asked the other teachers what they thought about it. We told him we had no problem with the idea. The children were then told they could address teachers by their first name if they wished, unless their parents were unhappy with the idea. But they turned out to be a minority.

            “That decision changed the atmosphere in the school immediately for the better. It became a warmer, friendlier, more cooperative and productive place to work in and with absolutely zero discipline problems.”

            And about “making do” with what one has, the previous week’s column, John wrote: “Your collection of boxes of bit and pieces described my workshop space to a T. I always had a workshop full of bits and pieces of wood, boxes of nuts and bolts, assorted hardware, electrical stuff and jars galore of nails and screws and other small items. Later bits and pieces of computers and associated cables were added. When moving to a new place, there HAD to be somewhere for all this gear….

            “Two years ago I had to move to seniors’ accommodation. I brought most of my workshop stuff with me in banana boxes. They had to be stored in the bedroom and the bed set up in the lounge! Slowly, I accepted that my workshop had reached the end of its road. Apart from a few basic tools that I keep in kitchen drawers, everything has gone. However, I did give my best cabinet making tools to a friend who had a real talent for making things, an artist and a sculptor. I am happy with this knowledge of who now has them, even though I also know that I am no longer as useful and practical a person as I once was.”

            Perhaps my comments, above, about a “ministry of listening” might have relevance.

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PSALM PARAPHRASES

Another selection from Psalm 119, this time verses 33-40. To me, this sounds like the plea of someone who can’t stand ambiguity, uncertainty. Ah, well….

33         Give me your rules, your guides, your regulations,

And I will follow them all my life.

34         Teach me your principles, so that I can understand your ways.

35         I long for clear instructions;

I need each "i" dotted and each "t" crossed.

36         So point me in the right direction.

Put my life in order.

37         Don't let me be distracted by irrelevant details,

or drawn aside by passing fancies;

Train my feet to follow in your footsteps.

38         For you promised that those who follow you faithfully would never sink into chaos.

39         Do not treat me with contempt;

I cannot stand it, when I have pursued your policies without question.

40         I don't believe in ad-libbing my way through life;

I want a straight and narrow path that I can follow.

For paraphrases of most of the psalms used by the Revised Common Lectionary, you can order my book Everyday Psalms from Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.

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YOU SCRATCH MY BACK…

•        Ralph Milton has a new project, called Sing Hallelujah -- the world’s first video hymnal. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at www.singhallelujah.ca

•        Isabel Gibson's thoughtful and well-written blog, www.traditionaliconoclast.com

•        Wayne Irwin's "Churchweb Canada," an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://www.churchwebcanada.ca>

•        Alva Wood's satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town are not particularly religious, but they are fun; write alvawood@gmail.com to get onto her mailing list.

•        Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at twatson@sentex.net

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TECHNICAL STUFF

If you want to comment on something, send a message directly to me, jimt@quixotic.ca.

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            My webpage is up and running again -- thanks to Wayne Irwin and ChurchWeb Canada. You can now access current columns and about five years of archives at http://quixotic.ca

            I write a second column each Sunday called Sharp Edges, which tends to be somewhat more cutting about social and justice issues. To sign up for Sharp Edges, write to me directly, jimt@quixotic.ca, or send a note to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca

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