Jim Taylor's Columns - 'Soft Edges' and 'Sharp Edges'

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Published on Wednesday, March 20, 2019

The mattress that fell from the sky

We were driving home, one dark night, down Highway 97. My headlights, on low beam, lit the pavement ahead for a short distance, but little else. 

            Then suddenly, something large and white came flying over the top of the car ahead. It landed on the road. I didn’t have time to swerve. Or brake. I ran over it. 

            Ka-whoomp! The car bounced high, as if going over a giant speedbump. Then it settled back onto the road. 

            “What was that?” Joan exclaimed. 

            Over the next few moments, we compared our impressions. We concluded – from the flying object’s size and shape  -- that it must have been a mattress. Probably a double-bed mattress. Possibly even a queen-size.

            But by then it was far too late to go back and check. Our car didn’t seem damaged. So we drove on. 

            Our guess about the large white thing was confirmed, a bit farther on, when we saw a pickup truck pulled over to the side of the road. The driver got out to check the straps that (loosely) held down a box spring. He seemed a bit bemused not to see a mattress too. 

            I didn’t stop to tell him that his mattress had now been run over by a whole line of vehicles. Possibly even a semi-trailer or two. 

            But we were glad it hadn’t been the box spring that came flying at us through the night sky.

 

Inadequate preparation

            I’m constantly amazed that people assume a few elastic bungee cords will hold their cargo in place against the blast of a 120 km/hr wind as they speed down the highway

            That’s getting into hurricane force. 

            We’ve all seen pictures on TV of how fierce winds can rip roofs off houses, flatten tall trees, and tip over large trucks. A load that looks stable in a driveway encounters a radically different environment at highway speeds. 

            By analogy, I wonder how many people also assume that the life skills they find quite adequate in calm weather will still support them in a storm. 

            Because those storms will come. No one coasts through life in an easy chair. Or on a mattress. 

 

Don’t blame God

            Several friends who have lost children – to accident or disease – agree that the least helpful things people tell them in such tragedies are the one-size-fits-all platitudes: “It must be God’s will…” “He’s in a better place…” “God never gives us more than we can handle…”

            Those comments are like bungee cords. Bungee cords look good; platitudes sound good. Until you put them under stress. Then it turns out the religious platitudes, the familiar formulas, really refer to a God who apparently doesn’t care how much suffering He causes, as long as He gets His way. 

            I simply do not believe that God – and I do still believe there is one – micro-manages human lives, let alone the forces of nature. God does not plan to have an infant die of a genetic flaw, to have a ten-year-old strangle in a bedside lamp cord, to have a mother die of cancer. 

            God does not cause landslides or tsunamis. God does not save one individual while letting thousands die.

            And God does not make mattresses fly into the dark night sky. 

            Human carelessness does that. 

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Copyright © 2019 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.

                  To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca

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YOUR TURN

 

After reading last week’s column about the value of relationships, Frieda Hogg decided “I just HAD to let you know about my friend Kay and myself who have been friends for 89 or 90 years.  We were little kids together in a little village here in Saskatchewan and I can't remember if I was 4 and she was 6 or if we were 5 and 7.  She is now 96 and I just celebrated my 94th; she and I were separated for a few years in wartime but she came back to Saskatchewan where we picked up our friendship and it has been very special.  I would like to know if there are any others who have a record like ours.”

 

Tom Watson wrote from his own experience of loss: “We are so affected by relationships that when a primary relationship is severed by death, a vital piece of us dies too. When a relationship with a friend is broken, no matter what the cause, some piece of us is chipped away, and there's a longing for restoration. I am so grateful for the variety of relationships I have experienced over my life—I have been so enriched by them, have been changed because of them, and can't imagine not having had them.”

 

Florence Driedger wrote, “Just a week before I was taking part in a small peer/pastor group who meets every 4-6 weeks. We share and take turns leading a discussion. We spent time talking about the loneliness we feel as pastors and never did get to the topic of reconciliation. Or did we?   Having worked in a chaplaincy role with offenders re-entering our community, I hear much about loneliness, but did not expect such a response from pastors. So my question is ‘Do we need to deal with loneliness first before we can build good relationships and only then move to reconciliation?’ 

            Frieda recommended two books: “Faithful Presence by David E. Fitch and Reconcile by John Paul Lederach are books which I feel all should read in our search to deal with loneliness and building meaningful relationships.”

            I would add A Cry Unheard by James Lynch – sometimes overloaded with research, but powerful on the effects of loneliness on premature death rates. 

 

In last week’s column, I wrote,  “I’ll venture that relationships may be the ONLY things that matter.” 

            Steve Roney replied, “I disagree. Relationships are great, but are also fundamentally unreliable. 

            “I used to believe in the trinity of relationships, religion, and art as the three things that made life worthwhile. But in fact, there is a different trinity, which is both ancient and nearly universally recognized among philosophers and the religious: the point of life is to seek the Good, the True, and the Beautiful. 

            “That suggests that relationships are not on the same plane. It implies that we may need to sacrifice any given relationship for the sake of the Good or the True or indeed for true Beauty. The sole exception would be our relationship with God. This is no doubt why Jesus puts love of God before love of neighbor.”

 

Henry Yorke also quoted one of my lines: "But even short-term relationships, the kind where you never expect to see this person again, have value. In the line waiting for a grocery cashier."

            Henry expanded that to an experience he heard: “A woman, Ellen, a member in a Methodist church in the UK, attended a talk given by the CEO of a prominent Christian aid organisation regarding the situation for many tea producers and their pickers in many parts of the world. 

            “A couple of days later, Ellen was queuing at the till in her local supermarket, when the customer in front of her complained to the checkout girl about the price of his packet of tea.

            “Ellen, rather uncharacteristically, took a deep breath and said, ‘Well, it's not because the producers are getting a proper share.’ Customers and checkout girl stopped and stared at her. Ellen gulped, but pressed on bravely, giving the information she had received in church.

            “There didn't seem to be much acknowledgement or response. People just wandered off having finished their shopping.

            “A couple of days later, she was in the shop again, when a customer ahead of her complained about the price of tea. Ellen was surprised, exhilarated, and humbled, when the checkout girl replied, ‘Well, it's not because the producers are getting a proper share.’”  

 

Bob Rollwagen connected two columns from recent weeks: “Relating to other people is character building. I wish people could spend more time relating and less time judging, more time listening and less time telling, more time sharing and less time using for personal gain. Faith is a relationship with truth -- and like baptism, does not need a religion.”

 

Rachel Prichard also had a “late” response to the baptism column: “A few weeks ago our priest communicated a young girl with the bread, whereupon she broke it and gave him back half.  I think he may have wept but he definitely felt he had been communicated by her.”

 

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PSALM PARAPHRASE

 

Sometimes I wonder why we need elaborate cathedrals. This paraphrase of Psalm 63 suggests that a few people need them as sanctuary. 

 

1          Crowds of people crush me.
They bump and bounce my mind;
they break my concentration.
I feel like nothing more than a means to an end, a cog in the machinery.
I long for the gentle touch of loving fingers, the intimate whisper of acceptance.

2          So I have come looking for you, God, in your holy places. 

3          In this dimmed light, in this hushed silence, I sense your presence.

4          I wish I could feel you as near me 
in the rabid frenzy of life in the city core.
I want to reach out and touch you 
in the marketplace as well as the chancel. 

5          Then I will not feel alone; 
you will be part of every thought and every breath. 

6          I will know you at my desk and in my den, 
in my bed and in my bathtub.

7          Nothing will come between us. 

8          And I will hold you close in the forest of my fears.

 

For paraphrases of mostof the psalms used by the Revised Common Lectionary, you can order my book Everyday Psalmsfrom Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.

 

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TECHNICAL STUFF

 

If you want to comment on something, send a message directly to me, jimt@quixotic.ca.

                  To subscribe or unsubscribe, send an e-mail message to jimt@quixotic.ca. Or you can subscribe electronically by sending a blank e-mail (no message or subject line) to softedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca. Similarly, you can un-subscribe at softedges-unsubscribe@lists.quixotic.ca.

                  I write a second column each Sunday called Sharp Edges, which tends to be somewhat more cutting about social and justice issues. To sign up for Sharp Edges, write to me directly, jimt@quixotic.ca, or send a note to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca

                  And for those of you who like poetry, I’ve started a webpage http://quixotic.ca/My-Poetrywhere I post (occasionally, when I feel inspired) poems that I have written. If you’d like to receive notifications about new poems, write me at jimt@quixotic.ca,  or subscribe yourself to the list by sending a blankemail(no message) to poetry-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca(If it doesn’t work, please let me know.)

 

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PROMOTION STUFF

 

To use the links in this section, you’ll have to insert the necessary symbols. Some spam filters have been blocking my posts because they’re suspicious of too many links.

                  Ralph Milton’s latest project is a kind of Festival of Faith, a retelling of key biblical stories by skilled storytellers like Linnea Good and Donald Schmidt, designed to get people talking about their own faith experience. It’s a series of videos available on Youtube. I suggest you start with his introductory section: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u6qRclYAa8

                  Ralph’s “Sing Hallelujah” -- the world’s first video hymnal -- is still available. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at wwwDOTsinghallelujahDOTca

                  Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,”an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://wwwDOTchurchwebcanadaDOTca>

                  I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, wwwDOTtraditionaliconoclastDOTcom

                  Alva Wood’s satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town -- not particularly religious, but fun; alvawoodATgmailDOTcom to get onto her mailing list.

                  Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony”-- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’sreaders. Write him at tomwatsoATgmailDOTcom or twatsonATsentexDOTnet

 

 


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