If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?

            Those who are unable to think metaphorically won’t even understand the question. But some of the organizations I worked with, years ago, used that question to help members understand a little better their relationships with the people they worked with.

            Because I can’t assume that everyone else will react to a situation the same way I do.

            For example, I tend to think of myself as a donkey – a creature that carries whatever gets piled onto its back without complaint. In undeveloped countries, donkeys stagger along under mind-boggling burdens. Until something breaks, that is. For a real donkey, a body part. For me, my emotional stability.

            But a colleague described herself as a hedgehog – an indication that when things got rough, she would figuratively curl up into a tight little ball protected by prickly spines. (Another called herself Miss Piggy, giving me a warning that it was all about her.)

            Obviously, I can’t ask world leaders what kind of animal they think they would be. But I get some wry satisfaction from imagining them as animals.

Some visualizing

            Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau might be a golden retriever. Friendly and lovable. Or perhaps a Chinese panda. Cute. And possibly convinced that’s enough.

            I see Kim Jong-Un of North Korea as a peacock. His uses ballistic missiles as his tail-feathers, which he proudly displays for the world to admire. Even his stride, as he struts ahead of his generals, reminds me of a peacock.

            Shakespeare got him right: “A poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage…”

            Vladimir Putin? I suspect he would think of himself as a Siberian Tiger, the ultimate predator of the Russian taiga. I see him more like a cobra. Something about that cold unblinking stare, that readiness to strike without warning.

            Cobra might also symbolize his cyber-war against western democracies. Not the frontal assault that an angry elephant might launch. But something that sneaks in under the door, slithers around in the darkness, and is, of course, lethal.

Swamp creature

            And then there’s Donald Trump. That’s easy – he’s an alligator.

            Before he was elected, Trump promised to “drain the swamp” of Washington’s professional lobbyists. Nonsense! Alligators don’t drain swamps – swamps are an alligator’s natural habitat. Instead of draining the swamp, Trump brought the swamp with him into the White House. In his first six months in office, Trump appointed 200 former lobbyists directly into his administration.

            Psychologist Michael Dowd describes the most primitive part of the human brain, at the base of the skull where it connects to the spinal cord, as our “lizard brain.” Other parts of the brain reason, explore ideas, and seek loving relationships; the lizard brain just reacts. Fight, flight, or eat.

            Trump boasts of having a high IQ. Maybe he has. But he lets his lizard brain run him.

            It used to be assumed that alligators had no family feelings. They laid eggs in nests and then abandoned them. Not so, I gather. New research finds that mother alligators guard their eggs for about three months, and defend their pod of hatchlings for their first year, with the kind of ferocity that only an alligator is capable of.

            That too aptly describes Trump. His attacks on Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller, on former FBI honchos James Comey and Andrew McCabe, seem to me intended less to protect himself from charges of collusion with Russian interests than to protect his family – son Donald Trump Jr., son-in-law and special advisor Jared Kushner, daughter and business tycoon Ivanka.

            I’m not sure why he needs Melania beside him at public events. Maybe it’s to provide something attractive to distract attention from his own essential ugliness. Or maybe it’s to keep her safely away from the jaws of some other alligator.

A different perspective

            I don’t expect that my animal characterizations will change anyone’s mind. Certainly not the self-image of the individuals I have used as examples.

            But they make it much easier for me to watch the nightly news. After a Trump press conference in Washington, for example, I find it much easier to visualize his outpouring of lies, denials, and venom as an alligator lashing its tail in a swamp, rather than as the Commander-in-Chief of the most powerful nation on earth.

            Ditto for other leaders.

            It doesn’t solve anything. But in the utter absence of any solutions, it does deflate pomposity and make the news a little less depressing.

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Copyright © 2017 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups encouraged; links from other blogs welcomed; all other rights reserved.

            To send comments, to subscribe, or to unsubscribe, write jimt@quixotic.ca

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YOUR TURN

I didn’t get many letters about last week’s column, on the complexities of jury selection. Tom Watson simply asked, “Why does it take so long for those in charge of systems to do the right thing?”

            But a couple of readers disagreed with me.

Bill Hedberg chose not to discuss jury selection at all, but felt I had left out some crucial facts: “Your article mentions that Stanley came out carrying a loaded handgun. He came out with the gun when these troublemakers started going thru a parked truck and jumped on his ATV trying to start it. You did not mention that Boushie had a loaded rifle in his immediate proximity. Was this going to be Stanley’s reward for fixing their tire? Photos show the vehicle had a broken front drive axle as well as a flat tire. So was that why one of the people were going thru the parked truck? To try and steal it?

            “You say gun experts disputed the ‘hang fire’ claim. Anything I have read of the trial states that gun experts said that hang fires do happen and that the spent casing from Stanley’s revolver had a bulge in it that could have caused the hang fire.”

            Bill offered, as alternative wisdom, a column in the Toronto Sun which claimed that half of the pool of prospective jurors were aboriginal. If so, it doesn’t explain how none of the actual jury were aboriginal.

Steve Roney argued that justice had been done: “Boushie was shot while trespassing, with a group of friends, on Stanley’s property, in an attempt to steal an ATV. Stanley fired two warning shots. Obviously, the group of intruders did not withdraw.

            “Stanley has a natural and a legal right to protect his property. On a farm, he cannot expect police to arrive in time to protect himself, his property, or his family. Boushie and his companions were responsible for creating the situation in which something dire might happen; Stanley was not. They were the aggressors. Granted, shooting someone might be excessive force — even though Stanley was outnumbered by Boushie and his companions, and they had a gun in their truck. But not so obviously excessive as to justify a murder conviction.

            “And how can you prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Stanley fired intentionally? He says it was an accident. Boushie’s companions were blind drunk at the time, and not reliable witnesses. So it seems that justice was served.

            “It is irresponsible to second-guess a jury decision: they have heard all the facts, we have not. It is irresponsible, without good cause, to question the justice system. Our freedoms, our prosperity, and our personal safety depend, to a far greater extent than most seem to realize, on preserving a social consensus that matters are fair and the laws are on the whole just. Laws are useless without a general will to obey them, and no amount of enforcement can replace that general will if absent. Without that, societies must veer either into chaos or totalitarianism. Or, often, both.”

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TECHNICAL STUFF

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PROMOTION STUFF…

To use the links in this section, you’ll have to insert the necessary symbols.

            Ralph Milton ’s latest project is called “Sing Hallelujah” -- the world’s first video hymnal. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at wwwDOTsinghallelujahDOTca

            Ralph’s HymnSight webpage is still up, http://wwwDOThymnsightDOTca, with a vast gallery of photos you can use to enhance the appearance of the visual images you project for liturgical use (prayers, responses, hymn verses, etc.)

            Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,” an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://wwwDOTchurchwebcanadaDOTca>

            I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, wwwDOTtraditionaliconoclastDOTcom

            Alva Wood’s satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town -- not particularly religious, but fun; alvawoodATgmailDOTcom to get onto her mailing list.

            Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at tomwatsoATgmailDOTcom or twatsonATsentexDOTnet