My mother was a master (okay, a mistress) of folk sayings.
She had a maxim for every occasion. If I paced impatiently waiting for something to happen, she’d tell me, “A watched pot never boils.” If she had reservations about my friends, I’d get “Birds of a feather flock together.” If I got a Christmas present I didn’t particularly want, I might hear, “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.” Or perhaps, “Beggars can’t be choosers.”
It took me some time to realize that many of those maxims come in contradictory pairs.
“The squeaky wheel gets the grease” encourages me to squeak up. But “Speech is silver, silence is golden” advises me not to.
One maxim advocates caution: “Never put all your eggs in one basket.” Another expects me to take risks: “You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.”
When I first started dating, my mother advised me, “Faint heart never won fair lady.” But once I found my “fair lady” and wanted to spend lots of time with her, I heard, “Don’t wear out your welcome.”
Many of my mother’s maxims went back to the days when British currency had pounds, shillings, and pence. I often heard “Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.” Which meant, I gathered, that big movements start with small steps.
Except that “Penny wise and pound foolish” suggested that focusing on details might lose sight of the bigger picture.
Of course, both of those maxims become meaningless now that Canada has abolished pennies.
Both ends of a spectrum
I called those pairs contradictory. They’re not, really. Rather, they recognize that wisdom is never either pure black or pure white, but somewhere between.
To fixate on one idea, one bit of common wisdom, to treat it as an absolute, is to paint yourself into a logical corner.
Some contemporary theologians call this “dualistic thinking.” It assumes one must make an either/or choice. EITHER this saying is true, OR that is true, but they can’t BOTH be true.
Yes, they can.
It is true, for example, that too much water can kill you. You can drown. You can be swept away by floods. But the opposite extreme is equally true. Too little water will kill you. You will die of thirst. The life-giving amount lies somewhere in between. But even it is not a precise quantity. Bedouins in the Sahara live on a lot less water than, say, residents of Palm Springs.
I contend that the same holds true for almost anything. We need fire for warmth and energy. Too little, we freeze; too much, we incinerate. Too little antibiotic, the bugs get us; too much, we breed superbugs which will get us anyway.
Even in human relations, we consider too much physical contact between adults and children to be abuse. But a total absence of physical contact is no better – that’s neglect.
The “right amount” of anything lies somewhere between the two extremes. No one knows exactly where that “right amount” lies. Like Goldilocks, we have to work it out by trial and error.
Declaring any single point on the spectrum to be the absolute answer simply creates a new extreme.
We need both/and thinking, rather than either/or.
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Copyright © 2017 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.
To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca
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YOUR TURN
Quite a few of you think that quail are lovable little creatures.
For example, resident atheist Frank Martens wrote, “As an orchardist I have enjoyed the quail running about the place for many years and during the winters (like this one), when there’s quite a bit of snow on the ground, I spend a significant amount of money on sunflower seeds just to keep the majority alive. I put out the feed into a regular chick feeder, on the ground and under a sheet of plywood, and sit back while I’m eating my breakfast and watch as a flock of 50 or so attack the food and sometimes themselves devour it all in less than 15 minutes. My favourite bird!”
June Blau recalled being “introduced to quail on the golf course at Lake Okanagan Resort & marvel at their wave-like movement, like snow drifting before the wind, though less predictable. I too wonder about their extra communication channel(s)!”
Cliff Boldt also builds deterrents around his bird feeder: “I cover the feed so the crows can't get it. Drives them nuts. Love to watch them problem solve a problem that they can't solve.”
Tom Watson focused on the communication question: “You raise interesting questions about how ideas spread, how and why we learn. I have spent the last month at our daughter's beef cattle farm in Manitoba. They have three border collie dogs—something that is invaluable to their cattle operation—and I have become convinced that this particular breed is, arguably, the smartest of the canine breeds. They seem to know exactly what to do and when. Put another breed of dog in the same situation and it's a lost cause. Why? Evolutionary processes from away back at work?
“On another front, 56 years of marriage suggests that we humans are relatively quick to learn some things and terribly slow to learn others. For example, why do we have the same arguments, most of them picayune, over and over again? Oh, they don't seem the same on the surface but they are in essence; the only difference is the context. They keep happening until the day we realize what is happening and then walk through that portal you suggest is there and decide to take a different approach.”
Ralph Milton tackled those “subliminal processes” that change us: “Donald Trump got elected, not because of what he said or did, but because of what he symbolized – a guy outside the system battling the establishment. And those who felt themselves outside the system bought in.
“Leaders come along, not because he/she is proposing something new but because he/she articulates what the culture is already feeling and therefore gives it cohesion and movement and a vocabulary. It’s the wise leader who said, ‘I have to find out where my people are going, so that I can lead them there’.”
Laurna Tallman added some information about other bird species: “Crows not only learn by imitation, but apparently by reasoning. A very few years ago I saw a video made in Britain of a crow solving a series of tasks to obtain a reward. Crows also have long lives (20 to 30 years) in which to learn to solve problems and their lengthy lives may be the result of their problem-solving.
“Humans learn by watching, hearing, and imitating, which is the basis of my husband's study of folklore. Animals learn their lore in some of those ways, certainly. Lab experiments with primates and other animals shows they respond to reinforced behaviours and that their brains and ours are plastic in similar ways and become adapted in similar ways.
“Bird brains are fascinating. Some of them donate part of their brains to the energy required for long flights, then regrow those brains, apparently with the same learning of the original neurology.”
Peter Scott wrote about a different brand of quail: “Like you Jim, I believe that other creatures besides humans are able to communicate, even quail. For several years, I raised Northern Bob-white Quail, native to this part of Ontario and quite common in my youth although they are now almost extinct largely due to loss of habitat and the depredations of thousands of cats.
“One day when I opened their pen door to offer food and water one of the quail flew out of the pen like a bullet almost separating me from my left ear. She flew over a corn field and disappeared. I was not totally disappointed because I dreamt of restoring the quail population to one small part of Ontario. A few days later she was back sitting on a nearby compost pile and serenading her siblings in the pen, and they in turn replied. She repeated this ritual every afternoon for weeks until a neighbour's cat silenced her song permanently.
“Were those quail communicating? I'm sure they were. Just as sure as I am that my chickens are communicating to me every morning. Just as sure that I am communicating to them when I thank them for their eggs. And weren't we all taught that a large part of our communication human to human is non-verbal? How could we ever doubt that other creatures, both animals and plants, are communicating in their own ways?”
Ivan Gamble shared his own experience with quail: “When they are very small, one of the adults sits on a higher vantage point, and calls warning, or instructions. This seems to indicate a predator is close, or hide, or come and make it snappy. Then one by one they zoom across an empty space closer to the adult’s perch.”
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PSALM PARAPHRASES
According to my reading of the liturgical cycle, this coming Sunday should the First After Epiphany, for which the prescribed psalm is Psalm 29. Since the main theme is the baptism of Jesus, the image of a river in flood seems appropriate:
Don't try to cross the river alone, my child.
Let your father carry you.
The waves are higher than your head;
the torrent will sweep you away.
It rolls the rocks in their beds;
it bites earth from its banks;
even mighty trees topple and fall.
But you will be safe in your father's arms.
He will hold your head above water;
His feet will stand firm against the flood.
Trust him.
Wrap your arms around his neck, where he can murmur comfort in your ear.
Then you will know the torrent cannot touch you.
Your father is much stronger than you are.
Trust him to carry you to safety.
For paraphrases of most of the psalms used by the Revised Common Lectionary, you can order my book Everyday Psalms from Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.
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YOU SCRATCH MY BACK…
• Ralph Milton has a new project, called Sing Hallelujah -- the world’s first video hymnal. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at www.singhallelujah.ca
• Isabel Gibson's thoughtful and well-written blog, www.traditionaliconoclast.com
• Wayne Irwin's "Churchweb Canada," an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://www.churchwebcanada.ca>
• Alva Wood's satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town are not particularly religious, but they are fun; write alvawood@gmail.com to get onto her mailing list.
• Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at twatson@sentex.net
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TECHNICAL STUFF
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