On a recent snowbird holiday to warmer climes, Joan and I attended an evening event where the MC invited men from several nations up onto the stage. Spoofing the macho male of Mexican myth, he asked each of them, “Who runs your household?”

            Joan and I, in the audience, turned to each other and said simultaneously, “The Cat!”

            We have both a dog and a cat.

            Our dog is a 12-year-old Chesapeake Bay Retriever. She embodies the virtues that “liberal” churches think of as godly -- unconditional love, loyalty, forgiving to the nth degree…

            Conversely, The Cat (capitalization deliberate) embodies what I associate with the more conservative theology familiar from the David C. Cook Sunday School curricula of my youth -- a sense of being almighty, judgemental, distant, and unquestionably in control.

Before histories

            It’s hard to know whether dogs or cats were the first wild animals to realize that they could improve their lives by some kind of relationship with humans. Perhaps the ancestors of dogs first gathered around the campfires of wandering hunter/gatherer families to scavenge scraps.

            In terms of domestication, rats probably preceded cats. As humans moved from hunter-gatherer families into more settled agricultural villages, they had to store the grains they grew. Rats and other rodents thought they’d discovered manna from heaven.

            Cats quickly discovered they didn’t have to prowl as far in search of rats and mice.

            Human activities set up conditions that provided an abundance of prey; feline predators kept prey populations under control.

            But dogs and cats developed different relationships with humans.

            Dogs submitted. They allowed humans to tinker with their genes. Selective breeding has resulted in dogs that range from 2 lb Chihuahuas to 200 lb English Mastiffs; as a result of human intervention, dogs are far more diverse than humans.

            Cats, on the other hand, resisted human meddling. Cats kept their distance; they lived parallel but separate lives.

            Modern cats may have superficial differences, but no one could miss the similarities between a Siamese, a Manx, and our orange tabby Joey.

Delusions of divinity

            Indeed, modern cats are virtually indistinguishable from the cats portrayed in Egyptian art, 4000 years ago.

            Cats were considered sacred in ancient Egypt, worshipped as gods. Or goddesses -- for some reason all cats, male or female, are considered feminine.

            Joey -- also known as His Orange Majesty -- is a very affectionate cat. But only on His own terms. He demands devotion from us; He chooses when to give it back. He makes the decisions. Such as when to leap into my lap. When to eat the food we put out for him. When to go outdoors, when to come back in, even if the two are only minutes apart.

            We humans exist to serve Him. It is not our place to argue, to question, or to disobey.

            Comedian Dave Barry once described a dog as having the intelligence of celery. For Joey, that might be a compliment. He seems incapable of learning that computer keyboards are not for walking on. That leather armchairs are not for sharpening His claws. That He’s not welcome on the dining room table.

            In Joey’s terms, a Supreme Being doesn’t require supreme intelligence. Just obedient acolytes.

            Dogs think they’re human. Cats think they’re God.

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Copyright © 2017 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.

            To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca

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YOUR TURN

I received only one letter in response to last week’s column about Valentine’s Day – and it wasn’t intended for publication! So I have no feedback to pass along to you….

            Perhaps that lack of letters gives me permission to use this space to explain my policy on letters.

            First, I assume that if you write me about a public test, you give me permission to make your letter public too. Or parts of it. Unless publication could cause personal embarrassment for you.

            Second, I edit all letters. Some very little, some a lot. I tidy spelling, punctuation, and some grammatic and stylistic matters. I can’t help it -- words are my addiction. I can no more ignore awkward phrasings than a junkie can ignore a fix.

            Third, it’s my blog – I get to decide what to publish. You have a right to your views; you don’t have a right to decide what I choose to print.

            And fourth, I generally choose those parts of letters that further the discussion. I welcome alternate perspectives; I learn from evidence I hadn’t considered. But I’m not interested in defending entrenched positions, wherever they come from. Obviously, I prefer reasoned discourse to incoherent rants. And, of course, short letters are easier for me to include than long ones.

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PSALM PARAPHRASES

Psalm 22 moves from abject despair in its opening verses, to a glorious hymn of praise for healing and compassion at its closing. When I think of compassion, I think of a friend who tried to bring comfort to AIDS victims back when they were still loathed and despised.

23        Behold a saint!
Few could do what she does:
she goes down to the hospice, every day, 

24        where people waste away.
She does not hide her face behind a mask, nor her hands inside rubber gloves.
When they cry in misery, she cradles them in her arms.

25        We shake our heads in awe at such selfless service. 

26        She feeds them, spoonful by spoonful.
They watch with sunken burning eyes;
they turn their skin-tight skulls and kiss her cheek. 

27        Their own families turn away from them;
long after their sons and brothers, their daughters and sisters, have died, those families will remember her devotion. 

28        In her they see God's kind of love;
love that has no limits and sets no conditions.

29        God's love does not distinguish between the froth on the top and the dregs on the bottom;
it makes no distinctions between the lords and the lepers of our society.

30        Years from now, people will speak of her visits in hushed voices;
they will hold her high as an example to follow. 

31        Because of her, they will know God better.

For paraphrases of most of the psalms used by the Revised Common Lectionary, you can order my book Everyday Psalms from Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.

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TECHNICAL STUFF

If you want to comment on something, send a message directly to me, jimt@quixotic.ca.

            To subscribe or unsubscribe, send an e-mail message to jimt@quixotic.ca. Or you can subscribe electronically by sending a blank e-mail (no message or subject line) to softedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca. Similarly, you can un-subscribe at softedges-unsubscribe@lists.quixotic.ca.

            I write a second column each Sunday called Sharp Edges, which tends to be somewhat more cutting about social and justice issues. To sign up for Sharp Edges, write to me directly, jimt@quixotic.ca, or send a note to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca

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PROMOTION STUFF

To use the links in this section, you’ll have to insert the necessary symbols.

            Ralph Milton ’s latest project is called “Sing Hallelujah” -- the world’s first video hymnal. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at wwwDOTsinghallelujahDOTca

            Ralph’s HymnSight webpage is still up, http://wwwDOThymnsightDOTca, with a vast gallery of photos you can use to enhance the appearance of the visual images you project for liturgical use (prayers, responses, hymn verses, etc.)

            Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,” an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://wwwDOTchurchwebcanadaDOTca>

            I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, wwwDOTtraditionaliconoclastDOTcom

            Alva Wood’s satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town -- not particularly religious, but fun; alvawoodATgmailDOTcom to get onto her mailing list.

            Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at tomwatsoATgmailDOTcom or twatsonATsentexDOTnet