Last New Year’s Eve, we welcomed the new year on Mountain Time. At 10:45 here in the Pacific Time zone, someone yawned. Yawns are contagious. (Even just reading this, you’re tempted to yawn, aren’t you?) By some miraculous consensus, we all agreed that if it was midnight in Alberta, that was good enough for us.
So we sang Auld Lang Syne, hugged each other, and headed home.
If we can arbitrarily move clocks ahead for Daylight Saving Time, why can’t we can move them ahead for New Year’s Eve?
The New Year is traditionally a time for Resolutions. I’ve never had much success keeping my New Year’s Resolutions. Most are hopelessly idealistic, like promising to avoid puns. Or to think kindly of Donald Trump.
The only Resolution I’ve ever managed to keep was my resolution, a few years ago, to stop making New Year’s Resolutions.
Words of wisdom
Now, instead of making rash promises, I look for words of wisdom that might influence my behaviour.
Like, for example, remembering that the turkey gets stuffed, not the diner. Growing up, I tended to treat eating as a competitive exercise. If cousin Michael could manage a third helping, so could I. I still appreciate a festive dinner, but I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to overdo my appreciation.
Seth Godin offered valuable advice on his daily email (notify@sethgodin.com). Godin’s focus is marketing, but his wisdom often spills over into daily life. On December 22, he suggested that we need to distinguish between choices and decisions.
“Decisions come with all sorts of overhead,” he explained. “We put a lot of weight on our ability to make good decisions. We can save a lot of time and effort by making our meaningless choices effortless. Pick one, or flip a coin. At the end of the day, you'll have more resources remaining for decisions that matter.”
Many of the decisions I struggle with, I realize, are just choices. How much difference will it make if I choose the blue shirt instead of the brown one? Not much.
And sometimes I need to remember that I have a third option, of not making a choice at all. If I can’t decide whether to buy a Maserati or a Ferrari, maybe I don’t need to buy either of them. (An unlikely scenario in real life, I admit, but applicable in lesser matters.)
De-clutter
David Suzuki’s post-Christmas newsletter (communitygiving@davidsuzuki.org) pushed that idea of simplifying a shade further.
De-clutter, he suggested. Find the shoes you never wear any more, the jacket you’ve had since high school, the socks your mother knitted for you. Take them to the women’s shelter, the Gospel Mission, the Shoe Bank.
Charitable organizations can send the bicycle you never ride to Ghana. The SPCA can use the cat carrier you still have for the pet who died years ago. The Food Bank could pass your Crock Pot along to a struggling family.
Even so, I’m unlikely to implement one of Suzuki’s suggestions: “Clear everything off your desk except your computer.”
That won’t work for me. I have an “out-of-sight, out-of-mind” mind. Anything banished to a filing cabinet for safekeeping ceases to exist.
Also, I don’t recommend decluttering memories.
Practice those memories
Over Christmas dinner our grandchildren, now 10 and 13, began recalling events from when they were around two years old. I don’t know what got them started, but it was delightful. We had no idea they could remember that far back.
To stay alive, memories need to be told, and re-told. A few years ago, author and friend Donna Sinclair led a workshop to help a group of seniors write their life stories. The writers probably thought they were recording stories for their grandchildren. But in fact, they were refreshing and renewing their own memories.
At various times, I have written what I can remember about key periods in my history. When I started, I thought I could remember very little about that trip to Britain, that summer working in the bush. But as I wrote, each incident brought another to mind.
I filled pages. And I felt enriched by every page.
Auld Lang Syne is more than a sentimental song to sing on New Year’s Eve. It’s a call to value the good, the bad, and the boring – all that has made us what we are. Yes, even the painful memories. They too have shaped us.
We can never have too many memories.
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Copyright © 2017 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups encouraged; links from other blogs welcomed; all other rights reserved.
To send comments, to subscribe, or to unsubscribe, write jimt@quixotic.ca
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YOUR TURN
Thanks for your praise, for last week’s column about the “power” of newborn infants.
· Laurna Tallman: “Beautifully written.”
· Isabel Gibson: “Excellent piece.”
· Tom Watson: “Thanks for sharing the beautiful story of your granddaughter Rediet. Very powerful.”
· Ralph Milton: “Beautiful story. Powerful.”
Cliff Boldt added his own reflection: “A good read. And I know now, what I didn’t as a new dad -- babies are totally helpless and in need of our protection and support. They didn’t even ask to be born.
“I see babies in ways I didn’t 49 years ago. And my heart goes out to them. I need to sit closer to them in church so when they start to fuss and cry, I can take them for a walk about the church while mom or dad gets a break. The youngest is the new daughter of our pastor, so he can’t take over as easily as an old man who has fewer and fewer responsibilities as time goes on.
“A good Christmas story, generic and to the point. For those who have ears to hear.”
So did David Evans: “Almost exactly 29 years ago Helena and I drove from Moncton to Toronto to meet our almost new born (2 months and a few days) granddaughter. The next afternoon was time for grandpa to have a nap (it had been a long drive) and I had this little bundle of warm, cuddly, baby-powder-smelling bundle of precious 2nd generation sleeping peacefully on my chest. A nap just didn't happen. As you wrote, I try to synchronize breathing, and watch, and marvel.
“Now 29 years after that Christmas she is about a month away from presenting Helena and me with our 4th great-grand child.
“I just wanted you to know you touched a chord with your description, and I too share the regret of too much work and not enough time with the children, but that was the way it was back them.”
Similarly, Bob Rollwagen mused, “The baby understands only one thing in its early life from conception forward: TOUCH. They say the fetus senses its surroundings from the womb. We agree that an upset baby responds to soft sounds, rocking on our shoulder and [feeling our] body vibrations. This is probably similar to the womb.
“A good parent has to have the focus of a carpenter. You are shaping a person. There is no room for anger at this stage as it is an unknown or disturbing noise. No one appreciates noise. There is only room for Love, regardless of the circumstances. Love shapes the future.
“It is so sad that this is not common sense.”
Bob Stoddard raised a question: “At what age does another individual no longer receive our total love and the complete giving of our wealth? After the infant becomes a youngster? No, at that age we still provide food, clothing, shelter, medical attention, and education. Is it when they reach puberty? Maybe. In any case, by the time they become adults, we declare that they must sink or swim on their own.”
Steve Roney didn’t agree that Jesus “was infinitely lovable. Seems to me that you are just about reversing the Gospel message. Jesus was executed on a cross as a criminal. At his very birth, while shepherds and foreigners revered him, the king of the day went to great lengths to kill him.”
Frank Martens brought Bethlehem up to date: “What would happen if Joseph and Mary traveled to Bethlehem today? Bethlehem was one of the few cities not ethnically cleansed of Palestinians in the Israeli/Arab War of 1967, but towering walls and militarized fences now encircle Bethlehem, turning the 4,000-year-old city into a virtual prison for its Christian and Muslim citizens. Bethlehem has only three gates to the outside world, all tightly controlled by Israeli occupation forces.
“Christians and Muslims in Bethlehem alike are bound together under Israeli oppression. The Muslim majority in Bethlehem does not persecute the Christians living there. They both suffer equally from the Jewish Israeli occupation and hardships of their economic situation.”
Stanley Wilson wrote, “I used part of your post (with credit given) about baby helplessness in my Christmas Eve sermon about ‘choosing gentleness’.”
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TECHNICAL STUFF
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PROMOTION STUFF…
To use the links in this section, you’ll have to insert the necessary symbols.
Ralph Milton ’s latest project is called “Sing Hallelujah” -- the world’s first video hymnal. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at wwwDOTsinghallelujahDOTca
Ralph’s HymnSight webpage is still up, http://wwwDOThymnsightDOTca, with a vast gallery of photos you can use to enhance the appearance of the visual images you project for liturgical use (prayers, responses, hymn verses, etc.)
Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,” an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://wwwDOTchurchwebcanadaDOTca>
I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, wwwDOTtraditionaliconoclastDOTcom
Alva Wood’s satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town -- not particularly religious, but fun; alvawoodATgmailDOTcom to get onto her mailing list.
Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at tomwatsoATgmailDOTcom or twatsonATsentexDOTnet