Last year, NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick decided that he could not stand proudly for the U.S. national anthem played before every game. During a post-game interview, he explained: "I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color.”

            Kaepernick himself has experienced profiling. Although he is wealthier than any of the officers who have pulled him over on suspicion.

            For black people, America is not the “land of the free.” Never has been.

            This year, he chose to kneel during the anthem – kneeling being a symbol of respect – instead of sitting. Many other athletes joined him. “Taking the knee” during the national anthem spread throughout the league.

            The President called the athletes “sons of bitches” and wanted them all fired.

            Which would probably reduce NFL telecasts to referees blowing whistles at each other.

Mixed messages

            Reactions -- in the media, on Twitter and FaceBook -- left me confused. Clearly, many people also object to racial profiling and prejudice. They support freedom of speech. They endorse every American’s right to protest.

            But at the same time, they don’t approve of “taking the knee.” They see it as unpatriotic. And Americans are patriotic to an extreme.

            In a discussion group, my friend and minister Jim Hannah remarked, “Protest is okay, as long as you don’t do it in a way that I find offensive.”

            Bingo! A revelation! One of the immutable, universal, laws of social interaction suddenly unveiled.

            Not just about the NFL. Or national anthems. Or even about protest movements. It’s about everything on which we have differences of opinion.

            Freedom of speech, freedom of action, is not just about what you do or say. It’s also about how you do it, how you say it.

Do it right!

            You’ve heard the quotation, “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” English author Evelyn Beatrice Hall coined that statement in 1906.

            Henry Higgins would probably add, “As long as you say it with a proper Oxford accent.” Or with anything but Eliza Doolittle’s atrocious Cockney.

            We all have standards and values. But few of us, I suspect, ever consciously consider what those standards are, and where they came from.

            Mine came from my mother. She told me to sit up straight. Keep your elbows off the table. Don’t wear socks with holes in them.

            More importantly, she taught me to speak clearly. Not to lose my temper. Even in intemperate situations. Don’t yell; don’t shout; don’t thrash about.

            As a result, I’m more likely to listen to what people have to say if they conform to my mother’s standards. Even when I agree with someone, I give them less credence if I find either their manners or their speech offensive.

            I don’t like profanity, for example. I tend to discount a serious issue if it’s smothered in obscenities.

            A friend went to the Women’s March on Washington. She found the event inspiring. But the strident language of some speakers turned her off.

            I know I shouldn’t confuse style with substance. But I do. I have difficulty supporting anything I find offensive.

            And in the national anthem controversy, I find Colin Kaepernick less offensive than Donald Trump.

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Copyright © 2017 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.

            To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca

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YOUR TURN

All the mail related to last week’s column, on coping with negative emotions, came from (fairly) regular respondents.

 “An excellent column!” wrote Tom Watson. “The conclusion ‘Know what you can do’ is good advice, and we can generally do something. Finding the right something -- the something that actually seems positive and constructive -- is the key...especially when we're in that place where no matter what we do feels like trying to push a string up hill.”

            Sisyphus had to push a rock up a hill. Tom’s metaphor of “pushing a string” appeals to me.

Cliff Boldt said, “Number four [“do something”] is my weapon of choice these days.”

            He also liked my third suggestion, “turn a self-destructive emotion into a constructive one.” Cliff quoted St.  Augustine ne of Hippo: “Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are Anger and Courage: Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain the same.”

Bob Rollwagen thought that “some would look at these steps as simple common sense. I could say reading your columns is a way to focus and take a breath. In general, I would conclude that you are talking to the converted on this matter. Has this been your experience?”

            Yes. I think that today’s social media mean that people who don’t share my viewpoints don’t subscribe.

Isabel Gibson noted an internal incongruity: “Funny that a piece on negativity should be paired with a Psalm paraphrase on anything but. I don't hear (or listen to) the music of the dance of life often enough. Thanks for the reminder.”

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PSALM PARAPHRASES

I've never been poor and homeless at Christmas. Psalm 80 (1-7, 17-19) made me think that the ostentatious flaunting of wealth and family must be very painful for those who have neither.

1          Can't you hear us knocking on your door?
You stand inside, laughing in the firelight with your family;
You toy with your tinsel and your ornaments.
Can't you hear us?

2          We are the lost and the lonely, out in the cold. 

3          We long for something to celebrate too. 

4          How long can you ignore us?
How long can you close your eyes and ears to our situation?

5          Hunger gnaws on our bones;
we sip the salt of our tears.

6          We are an embarrassment. People turn away from us.
People laugh and joke; they don't even see us.
We are invisible. 

7          Let us live too. 

17        We have nothing with which to thank you.
But God will reward you in ways you cannot imagine.
Through us, God will heal your blindness;
You will touch a world you have never imagined. 

18        You will not want to go back to your old ways.
Respond to our pleas, and see for yourself.

19        Let us live too. Please, let us live.

For paraphrases of most of the psalms used by the Revised Common Lectionary, you can order my book Everyday Psalms from Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.

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TECHNICAL STUFF

If you want to comment on something, send a message directly to me, jimt@quixotic.ca.

            To subscribe or unsubscribe, send an e-mail message to jimt@quixotic.ca. Or you can subscribe electronically by sending a blank e-mail (no message or subject line) to softedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca. Similarly, you can un-subscribe at softedges-unsubscribe@lists.quixotic.ca.

            I write a second column each Sunday called Sharp Edges, which tends to be somewhat more cutting about social and justice issues. To sign up for Sharp Edges, write to me directly, jimt@quixotic.ca, or send a note to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca

            I’m leaving out some of the links to other blogs and pages, to see if those links have caused the recent blockages, preventing some of your from receiving the columns at all, and preventing others from sending responses. We’ll see.

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PROMOTION STUFF

To use the links in this section, you’ll have to insert the necessary symbols.

            Ralph Milton ’s latest project is called “Sing Hallelujah” -- the world’s first video hymnal. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at wwwDOTsinghallelujahDOTca

            Ralph’s HymnSight webpage is still up, http://wwwDOThymnsightDOTca, with a vast gallery of photos you can use to enhance the appearance of the visual images you project for liturgical use (prayers, responses, hymn verses, etc.)

            Wayne Irwin's “Churchweb Canada,” an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://wwwDOTchurchwebcanadaDOTca>

            I recommend Isabel Gibson’s thoughtful and well-written blog, wwwDOTtraditionaliconoclastDOTcom

            Alva Wood’s satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town -- not particularly religious, but fun; alvawoodATgmailDOTcom to get onto her mailing list.

            Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” -- ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at tomwatsoATgmailDOTcom or twatsonATsentexDOTnet