“Car Crash Changed His Life Forever,” declared a pre-Christmas headline. The story below the headline described the effects of the accident on a young father. Brain damage affected his employability, family income, etc.
The story was, of course, intended to elicit support for regional Food Banks. Christmas brings out heart-tugging stories as surely as silver bells, Santa hats, and plum pudding.
I don’t mean to disparage efforts to help the unfortunate. Nor do I want to make light of this particular father’s predicament. But I did find myself wondering, as I read the headline, why only the major crises, the tragedies, are considered to “change life forever.”
It’s worth considering, as we move into a new calendar year.
Chain of events
I contend that every event changes life forever. Yes, every event. Whatever it is, it determines the subsequent chain of events.
And whatever it is, once it’s done, it’s done. You can’t undo that action and take a different path. You’re committed.
Taking that injured father as a (purely hypothetical) example, suppose he had stopped for a coffee on his way. He’d have arrived at that intersection two minutes after the accident would have happened. Would he describe that cup of coffee as an event that changed his life forever?
But suppose he did stop for a coffee. It delayed him just enough to put him in the path of a drunk driver. Did stopping for that coffee change his life forever?
I would say yes, in either case.
Whatever it was, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
Lifelong consequences
The greatest change in my life started almost insignificantly. In in my final university year, I went to a mixer dance. Solo, naturally. I wanted to meet lots of potential dates. I had danced with three or four girls before some new ones came in, looking around, a little uncertain about what to do next.
I asked a slim redhead for a dance. One dance. Just one.
This coming summer, we’ll have been together for 60 years. Life-changing, indeed!
I contend that any choice, any decision, however insignificant at the time, sets in motion everything that follows. For better or for worse.
It’s like tipping a line of dominoes. One goes over; others follow. You can’t stop it; you can’t go back and undo the chain of consequences.
Life doesn’t have a rewind button.
A different choice might not be any better or worse, but the chain of events would be different. Even the choice not to make a choice -- to let the universe unfold as it should, to borrow a line from Desiderata -- is itself a choice.
Two quotations come to mind.
From the Tao Te Ching, the Chinese proverb: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
And from Shakespeare, where Hamlet mused, “Whether ‘tis better to take up arms against a sea of troubles… or to sleep, perchance to dream….” To take decisive action, or to withdraw, to cocoon. Either decision will have its own life-changing consequences.
Which would I recommend? I don’t. Whichever feels better, for you, at this time and place. You can’t pre-determine the future; it will arrive regardless.
Happy New Year!
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Copyright © 2016 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups, and links from other blogs, welcomed; all other rights reserved.
To comment on this column, write jimt@quixotic.ca
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YOUR TURN
Last week’s column looked at the way we humans feel a need to get together, especially for special occasions like Christmas.
Cliff Boldt called it, “An excellent rumination. And if there isn't an official event, like Christmas, sometimes we create one. First truly happy day of the week is a good enough excuse.”
Tom Watson added his own thoughts on “why we ‘get together’ in the various circumstances you cite. I think that part of it is tribal in nature. We want to symbolize that a connection to this particular tribe, no matter how tenuous, still exists. In spite of not attending a place of worship the rest of the year, going on Christmas Eve, for example, symbolizes that there's still a connection with other folks who are of the same kind. In spite of hardly talking to each other during the year, we get together on celebrative occasions because there's a compulsion to symbolize that we're still connected to each other in this family -- like it or not, this is our tribe.
“But in the centre of that, there remains that little flicker of possibility that the connection will deepen this time, that a festering wound will be healed over, that something greater than symbolic harmony will take root and grow. Whenever and wherever that happens, it is to be celebrated. Therein lies hope.”
Isabel Gibson called the column, “A lovely thought about what can come from the in-gathering. And then the one go out and become many, again, eh? But this time, with one purpose?”
Peter Scott was less enthusiastic: “I'm sure my extroverted friends will agree with this column wholeheartedly, but as an introvert I experience crowds quite differently. Large gatherings produce nothing in me but anxiety and impatience, and I avoid them if at all possible. During my working life I forced myself to participate in large gatherings if the purpose was to accomplish some shared goal, (i.e. work) but actually being part of a large group, family, friends or acquaintances, has never been a pleasant experience for me. I prefer relating, even to family and friends, one or two at a time. My experience is that being in large groups tends to bring out the worst in people, not the best -- like throwing beer cans at athletes on opposing teams or screaming epithets at children and coaches at little league games.”
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PSALM PARAPHRASES
I see I got things wrong, last week. I used the psalm suggested for the first Sunday after Christmas – but last Sunday wasn’t the first Sunday after Christmas, it was Christmas itself. And this Sunday is New Year’s Day. So I’m going to repeat the Psalm 8 paraphrase I gave you last week, because it seems especially appropriate for the beginning of a new year.
My God, my God,
how wonderful you are!
There is nothing like you in the whole earth.
I look up to the skies, and I see you there;
Babies and infants open their mouths, and I hear them cry your name.
You have an aura that silences your enemies,
it keeps your opponents disarmed.
I look out into the universe, the infinite distances of creation,
sparkling with scattered diamonds,
and I feel so insignificant.
Why should you even notice me?
Why should you care about a mere mortal?
Yet you chose me to be your partner;
you have shared the secrets of the universe with me.
You have made me responsible for everything I see;
the whole world lies open before me --
the rocks and trees,
the birds and bees,
everything that exists in this wonderful world.
My God, my God, how wonderful you are!
For paraphrases of most of the psalms used by the Revised Common Lectionary, you can order my book Everyday Psalms from Wood Lake Publishing, info@woodlake.com.
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YOU SCRATCH MY BACK…
• Ralph Milton has a new project, called Sing Hallelujah -- the world’s first video hymnal. It consists of 100 popular hymns, both new and old, on five DVDs that can be played using a standard DVD player and TV screen, for use in congregations who lack skilled musicians to play piano or organ. More details at www.singhallelujah.ca
• Isabel Gibson's thoughtful and well-written blog, www.traditionaliconoclast.com
• Wayne Irwin's "Churchweb Canada," an inexpensive service for any congregation wanting to develop a web presence, with free consultation. <http://www.churchwebcanada.ca>
• Alva Wood's satiric stories about incompetent bureaucrats and prejudiced attitudes in a small town are not particularly religious, but they are fun; write alvawood@gmail.com to get onto her mailing list.
• Tom Watson writes a weekly blog called “The View from Grandpa Tom’s Balcony” – ruminations on various subjects, and feedback from Tom’s readers. Write him at twatson@sentex.net
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TECHNICAL STUFF
If you want to comment on something, send a message directly to me, jimt@quixotic.ca.
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My webpage is up and running again – thanks to Wayne Irwin and ChurchWeb Canada. You can now access current columns and about five years of archives at http://quixotic.ca
I write a second column each Sunday called Sharp Edges, which tends to be somewhat more cutting about social and justice issues. To sign up for Sharp Edges, write to me directly, jimt@quixotic.ca, or send a note to sharpedges-subscribe@lists.quixotic.ca
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